Taking the Leap of Faith

I've begun exploring new techniques in graphite drawing. I never thought this specific type of art has so many different styles and techniques that one could use to create realistic effects. My latest craze has been blending with ear buds and "painting" with graphite powder. In the end I have realized there's very little usage of a pencil to actually "draw" something. Most of my drawings these days are requiring a higher usage of erasing, brushing and blending. It has resulted in a much smoother and nice finish on the drawings which give a more realistic feel to the whole drawing.

What's the point in drawing from a reference photograph just to make the drawing look like another photograph? I don't know. The sheer pleasure and the end result I guess. The fact that a human can make use of 'tools' and his eyes to recreate something on paper as exactly as possible, is something we have to appreciate. Nobody put a sensor or any kind of device in us to be able to read highlights, midtones and shadows and replicate them with our hands. It's all in the brain and eyes and we must be proud that we can tune our them to observe such details. I bow down to some of the artists' realistic sketches i've come across on deviantART which are detailed to unbelievable levels, down to the texture of the skin. It's something I still need to develop patience for, but I'm slowly getting there.

So here are some of my more recent creations. My friend gave me an orange colored paper and asked me to draw something feminine. I picture a scene on a desert with sunset orange lighting and a girl looking away into the distance. I found a reference that matched the picture I had, so I started off. I tried drawing with a charcoal pencil and it created a pretty interesting vector style effect with a good amount of contrast. I'm sure i'm going to do more of this kind of work.

Abstract Vector Girl charcoal drawing (reference internet) : 04-Oct-2011

After listening to tracks by the fresh and upcoming band VersaEmerge, I became a fan of Sierra Kusterbeck's singing style and her unique photographs. So i chose one such brilliant photograph to draw.

Drawing of Sierra Kusterbeck of VersaEmerge : 14-Nov-2011

 My attention then turned to the Internet's favorite model Susan Coffey. I've seen hundreds of drawings of hers, and I felt kind of left out. I wanted to be in that league that was lucky enough to live in the same era as Susan Coffey and have the pleasure of drawing the fine features that she possesses. This was my first drawing in 2012 and I used quite a lot of eraser and blending tools like ear buds to get the image I wanted. Still haven't perfected that technique though. More Susan Coffey drawings to come for sure. One can hardly suffice with a single work!

Susan Coffey drawing: 15-Feb-2012

My next project come in a sudden dreamy flash sequence. Here I was, an Aerospace Engineering - with lofty dreams - drawing pictures of models on the internet. No. I had to draw something that was related to what I was planning to pursue. And the picture popped in my head like how a blub suddenly glows over the head of a cartoon character. I saw a rocket taking of in the distance and the hand of a passionate watcher pumping his fist in excitement. I saw it more like a photograph, with a distinct depth of field. I sat down to draw that next. Here's when I found out this new style of "painting" with graphite powder. I took a nice dark 9B pencil and used it on a sandpaper to get graphite powder. It wasn't the finest but it did the job. Almost the entire drawing was quite literally painted. It wasn't very easy but I tried my best. I hope to be able to create more of such original art inspired by my life's progress.

The Hand that Launched a Dream : 10-March-2012

More of my works are featured at my deviantART page.

Rediscovering the Music Scene

Undoubtedly I love music. It's a kind of love that's different from what most people think. Almost everyone on Earth says they love music. Really, who doesn't?

Well I love it too, and like I said it's kind of different. For me it's more about actually playing music and composing it. Being a guitarist and having a bit of ear for scales, I find it quite easy to create new tunes. Recording them and building and improvising is another whole story which I somehow do not find time for. After picking up the guitar and getting really absorbed into Rock music, I started treating other genres with contempt. I felt that rock music was more about the process of inspiration, songwriting, composing, producing and having most importantly, the skill to create the individual pieces that make the song. Somehow it wasn't that interesting with Electronic music. The use of effects and buttons to create music wasn't very appealing to me. I felt that kind of "too easy". And I did demonstrate that to my friends.

It would take about a minute to create a drum and bass sequence and another couple of minutes to overlay a set of chords and a small tune on top (I still use some non-electronic terms with the lack of knowledge). From there, it was about adding some effects and controlling the individual instruments to create a 2-3 min demo track. Of course producing the track to it's final version would take a while but the actual process of creation didn't need too much effort. It definitely takes much longer for me even to create a 1-2 min long rock track.

But somehow, my view about music started changing. If it was more to do with crowd interaction rather than just self-satisfaction, then the other genres of music still manage to pull crazy numbers of people. I have friends who had been to the Ultra Music Festival in Florida and it's just crazy how many people turn up to dance to a 4/4 sequence with a bass line and progressing layers of instruments and vocals over it.

I still stuck to my roots of rock music and continued playing guitar live on stage at small events. But recently in Feb, I had people asking me to "DJ" for an event we had on-campus. "DJ"ing? That was an idea I didn't really like, being a traditional musician but since I already had an idea about terms like BPM and "beatmatching" (I never used the term beatmatching until recently) and phrasing of music, I decided to give it a shot. I was supposed to play only Bollywood dance music for the event and that was kind of tough because it was not just a new genre but a new playlist itself. I was asked to "play good songs". But what were good songs? I had no playlist, I had no idea what music to play.

But some help from friends, I made a short playlist to last me a couple of hours at the least. The next most important thing was getting some kind of controller to mix the music (yeah, I was in that bad a situation). I had never used any kind of DJ controller before this. With no time to research and not much money to spend, I decided to get a basic Midi Controller to do the mixing. I had a couple of days to practice with the controller and get to know the songs. I couldn't do much and turned up for the "gig" under prepared and low on confidence. I created some mappings on my keyboard so I could mix my songs up without sounding too bad. The "sync" option on software proved to be quite helpful for automatic beatmatching. Since, I already knew about waveforms and equalizers, I had no trouble giving smooth transitions between songs. And for songs where BPMs were too far apart, I used some backspin effects or timed drops (couple of more terms I didn't know what to call before I knew them) to change the music. I had a friend stand next to me who was helping me out with the progression of the tracklist. I had no idea what song to play next. But it worked out pretty well by the end of the night. I could tell from the faces and reactions, my first "gig" went well. Armed with nothing but a laptop and controller that would fit in my bag, I mixed music live for a small crowd.

Now that, I had done it without much knowledge, I actually started researching about the so-called "Electronic Dance Music" (EDM) scene. More than popular radio dance hits , I was attracted to house music. I didn't know the difference until very very recently, like a month ago.

I still know nothing much about this genre. I rarely heard tracks from Armin van Burren and the big list of European electronic artists/DJs/producers. I have heard about people getting offended when one can't distinguish between DJs and producers and whatever else they like to be called. Why can't we all be called musicians? You might twist knobs and press buttons and I might be palm muting and stomping away on the expression pedal, but we are all making/playing music. I used to laugh at that guy wearing the oversized head of a dead mouse and laugh more when my friends corrected me it was a mau5 head. I had no idea that those 140 bpm tracks that sound like they are playing at 70 bpm were called dubstep. Who knew people love this music so much? Where did Metallica, Iron Maiden, Alter Bridge, Joe Satriani, and the good old Pink Floyd go?

I am stuck in a pretty strange conflict right now. I don't know if other musicians have gone through this, but I can definitely feel it. I still love traditional music, but right now, EDM is kind of obsessive. I can't help but play around with the controller that I have and keep trying to learn new stuff with the controls.

I'm still discovering new artists and finding out about new sub-genres under the Electronic umbrella. Some of those progressive house tracks are so minimalistic and brilliant mood setters, I'm starting to appreciate this genre finally. But as I'm going deeper into this genre, I'm finding conflicts within lovers of the same kind of music. The countless debates between "real and fake" DJs. I don't really see the point and I don't even have enough knowledge to comment on this. But I've seen people dancing as enthusiastically as they would in any good club, even if the "DJ" was me using just a laptop and a basic midi controller. Even something as simple as a crossfade between two songs with the equalizer knobs had people dancing away with renewed excitement when they find the track changed! It's all about the situation and the crowd.

Yeah, maybe people would appreciate your talents if you had used vinyls and did manual beatmatching by ear and used some good scratching techniques. But when they are out there on the floor, most of the times, they cannot even see what you're equipment you're using and most people wouldn't even know the difference between vinyls and a midi controller. They would just see a big bunch of knobs and faders everywhere. Now when it comes to the quality of the music, there's a definite downside with compressed MP3 files. And again there's the upside of fitting all your equipment in a backpack and going out to "gig" and most importantly being able to afford to actually do it.

That being said, I find the art of beatmatching by ear quite intriguing. I noticed I was getting too used to the sync function on DJ software but I'm starting to find that a bit too automatic, a bit too boring. It's kind of a weird feeling to let the software do everything. You don't even have to press the play button at the right time, it will still sync your beats. Hmm. I need something more than that if I want to get a rush out of this genre of music. I can't just stand there and pretend like I'm doing cool stuff when all I'm doing is pressing the play button and using the equalizers and effects. And the techniques of scratching (I didn't know they had names until recently again, like babies, chirps, crabs, etc) also look interesting. From what I've seen, that needs a little skill and hand-hand coordination as well. While I can play a guitar with eyes closed, I definitely cannot scratch! Random motion of the touchwheel might still sound cool sometimes, but it's just too random to be called scratching.

At another recent "gig" where there were Punjabi families dancing to bhangra, I noticed a 5 year old kid whose eyes were gleaming at the sight of all the flashing LEDs and all the buttons. (Yeah, I kind of mapped my controller's LEDs to do a lot of flashy stuff). Since it wasn't really critical for me to nail every note bang on, I asked the kid to just play with the inactive deck's jogwheel up and down while I was cutting with the crossfader. Since my crossfader cutting was timed, it sounded pretty good and people had noticed. A KID was scratching! DJ 5-year-old-Kid-in-the-golf-club-bar is going to be his name.

So yeah, despite having all the auto stuff, I'm trying to create a challenge for myself. Is it hard to beatmatch manually? Definitely yes! The last few days, I've been trying to beatmatch without looking at the waveforms or the BPM indicators. Setting a cue point and manually matching it, all just by ear. It's kind of tough to concentrate on the two tracks separately. Sometimes we want them playing together, sometimes isolated. It becomes particularly challenging when the two tracks are very close and separated by a couple of decimal points. They eventually go out of sync but stay on for quite a while to fool you into thinking you matched them. We can probably still fix that by just pushing or pulling the track just a little bit to bring the beats back on. I'm thinking each person has a different way to find his quickest method of beatmatching. I've sometimes taken a few seconds (probably got lucky) and sometimes over 3-4 minutes. I still need to discover a kind of pattern that I like to follow.

Anyway, so that's the rant about me rediscovering the Music scene. One thing I've learned is to not stereotype any kind of music. When you enjoy something, just play/listen/compose/produce it. And while you enjoy that, it doesn't mean that the other genres or other "ways of learning" are tasteless or "fake". It's always good to take a diplomatic stance and look at the pros and cons of all the options. People will do what they find convenient financially and technically. By the way, I might have sounded a bit harsh in my previous post about photography. It's almost a similar situation with everything going Digital and auto, the actual art of photography is slowly disappearing except for those few people who still love doing things the traditional way. So maybe I need to take a more diplomatic stand in that too. Maybe..

Anyway, as a closing word, for any musician/dj/producer/whatever, the universal rule still applies, practice always makes perfect.

P.S : I was listening to an Alt Metal/Hard Rock/Post-Grunge playlist (Alter Bridge, Breaking Benjamin, Creed, Audioslave, Theory of a Deadman, Chevelle, Daughtry, Hinder, Saving Abel, My Darkest Days, Seether, Shinedown, etc.......) while typing this out.

Vasant - Spring with the Guitar!

Unable to survive without a guitar, I forced myself to buy one just a few month after landing in Wichita for my Masters. Thought I had a few good sessions and a few good jams, I never really found a reason to go all out and spend useful time on the guitar.

At last, came Spring 2011 and with it, Vasant. An Indian event to celebrate the onset of Spring that included Indian dance, song and food. It was the thing I was waiting for. We were supposed to have had 2 events in 2010 but both of them didn't happen due to poor management. Finally when there was a complete make-over for the Indian student association, we could bring together all the ideas to organize this event.

Till 2 weeks before this, I was not part of anything. But suddenly over night, I got involved quite deeply to say the least. It all started with a casual visit to one of the dance studios my friends were practicing at. I noticed one of them constantly walking towards the audio system, playing the song, running back, dancing and then, running back to pause the song. I said I'll handle that part and I just had to be cued as to where I was supposed to pause or play.

That simple start to my involvement grew in size to a point where things almost went out of control! After practice, they were discussing points about mixing the tracks and arranging them together. Once again, I said, I can handle that part as I've been dealing with audio composing/editing/mixing from quite a few years. They immediately agreed and I started mixing the songs for them. It was very easy to do. Then one day, the 'leader' of the group, Harindra (though there was no real leader) asked me if I could re-create a certain piece of music that sounded like a music box. I did it for him and he loved it. From then on, I was called the "DJ" of the group.

The next 2 weeks that followed were filled with fun, laughter, music and dance. It was customary to hang out after every practice at any of the 24 hour restaurants. We had only 2 options, Denny's or IHOP. We used to alternate between the 2 and this would continue almost till 5 AM. Each of us had a 'trait' that the other could make fun of.

This end of the story was going fine. But then I thought this is all about dance and I had nothing to do with dance! I was surprised the idea took so long to strike me. Why wasn't I performing? I have performed before on stage, then why not now? I got the answer the moment I asked myself the question. I have no singer...

In the one year I've been here, I didn't find a single person who I felt was a good enough singer. Performing solo guitar on stage is not my thing, and I don't believe the general audience would enjoy it either because they wouldn't understand the technical aspects of the instrument. Guitar solos are for specific audience, the kind that know what is being done on the instrument, not the impatient students and boring families!

I asked the 'leader' of the dance group who was the Cultural head for the event to find me a singer. Within a day, he gave me the number of a guy whose name he didn't even know! I stored his number as 'Singer' and spoke to him a couple of time till we could finally meet. Finally it turned out the 'singer' was none other than Assad, a Pakistani guy I met a few times and we shared quite a few mutual friends.

Just about 4 days before the event, I finally had a jam session with him. His voice and talent was just mindblowing. I was happy that I was going to perform for sure because with a voice like his, any song was possible. We jammed a few Pakistani bands that were featured in Bollywood movies and the results were quite good. Time was short and we had one jam session so far and it was already just one day to go.

The day before the event, we had another short jam session and were not yet decided upon the songs. Finally the day arrived. We rushed to the Theater for rehearsals and eliminated the tough ones and reverted back to the simpler songs. We also had to eliminate a small piece of lead guitar as I didn't have enough confidence to play it right on stage.

In between all this, I had to remaster the final mix for the dance group and they were constantly having changes in their arrangement. The final mix was not exported till the last day. Moreover, my cousin who was also performing a solo dance asked me to mix her song. It was relatively much easier so I could finish it in a very short time.

By now, my involvement was getting quite hectic. I was helping the Cultural head with all the arrangements at the theater as very few volunteered. And then, came one more little involvement which I was glad I agreed to. There was a flute player who was performing solo. He asked me if I could join him for a song called Runaway by the Irish band The Corrs. I immediately agreed and this was just about 3 hours before the show!!

We jammed a little bit and found that it was coming out pretty good. But at the moment there were a lot of other things to handle. There were not enough people taking care of arrangements and a few of us were forced to over work. I ended up being there even when people were having lunch in another building. I was also incharge of the audio tracks along with the sound guy for the night.

Things started getting hectic and I still hadn't changed for the event. People were walking in and getting seats, waiting for the show to start. I thought it was high time I got ready and rushed home, changed and came back to the venue. By now, the show had started and the guests were talking on stage and giving away awards.

Soon the dance programs would start and I was supposed to play the tracks from the laptop that was connected to the audio system. The first performance was a dance by a 5 year old girl. I took a good breath and clicked on play. The song started playing and the girl was sitting. She wasn't moving. Why wasn't she dancing? I looked at the screen and the song was playing. But there was no audio. She was still waiting, looking around expecting the song to play. The curtain closed! I panicked like crazy. I looked for all the options that would have caused the problem with the sound. The connections looked fine. The volume knobs were proper. Everything looked fine but there was no audio feed in the mixer! I was stunned and then checked on the laptop and discovered it was on mute! I cursed myself for not having known that from before and unmuted it.

There was an order to open the curtains again through the wireless transmitters and we played the song again. This time it played fine and the girl danced well. After that things looked smoother. But suddenly there was another glitch. There was a guy pestering me to add a last minute change to his song and asked me to connect his flash drive. I finally did it for him as I was slowly getting pissed at him. For a strange reason, when I pressed enter on a song, some other song started playing on the system. The girls who were ready to dance were looking around confused. I was surprised. I closed it and played the song again. Once again, some other song was playing. I was angry now. I had to open the song in another player and it finally started playing and I was really pissed by now. Nothing seemed to be going right for me and I had 2 performances within 10-15 min. I asked a friend to handle the system and left from there.

I went down to meet the flute player who's performance was next. He started with his solo accompanied by a karaoke track. It sounded really good. Finally he introduced me onto the stage. I stepped on and looked out and wanted to wave. But I could see nothing. I was practically blinded. The lights were glaring into my eyes and it was hurting. But that wasn't supposed to be my problem. I had a chair waiting for me there so I just sat on and adjusted the microphone onto my guitar. I didn't know if I had to do a small sound check. With the lack of monitors on stage, we had no idea what the audience could hear. The audio guy had to look after that. I just played a chord or two and indicated upward to ask if it was ok. Obviously I couldn't see anything so I didn't know what the response was. I just started playing, praying that the sound was alright. The flute kicked in after a sequence. And we went on very smoothly. Every transition, every change in tune was done as if it was well rehearsed. We just had to have a glance to know that the next part was coming. It was great all the way to the ending where another single glance was enough to communicate that it's done. We got a pretty good applause. And we left the stage.

I then went back up to see if things were going smoothly. Everything finally seemed to be falling into place. I had to go back down to prepare for the next performance with the singer. Suddenly he asked me where the lyrics were. I said I placed them on the same table where the guitars were placed. Clearly, they weren't there. I rushed back to the audio room to see if the papers were around. I didn't find them. I looked in my bag. Not again! I was approaching a bursting limit now!

There was about 10 min left and he said he'd rewrite the lyrics for just one song as he felt pretty confident about the other 2. So armed with the last minute lyrics and a lot of tension, we hit the stage, second time for me.

I felt a lot more confident but a lot more confused. It was weird. I somehow couldn't keep myself as calm as I was before. We started with Dil Harey and it sounded pretty good. I just had a very minor screw up which I'm sure nobody noticed. Then came Toh Phir Aao. I started off with a wrong strumming pattern and suddenly had to correct myself. The rest of the song was pretty good after that. Assad's voice was flowing effortlessly and it felt good to be playing with such a quality singer. Then, finally we brought some interactivity into the crowd and got them involved with Tum Ho Toh. Apart from a tiny screw up of a chord and messing up the ending (assume that I didn't want to leave the stage so early!), everything went really well. Apparently it sounded so good that some of my friends found it tough to fight off tears. I was quite stunned and happy at the same time.

As we went off stage, I knew the audience liked it. If the volume levels were good, it HAD to be a great show. We were about 95% perfect. Couldn't get better.

After that, I remained backstage to watch my friends perform their dance for whom I mixed the tracks. They did a pretty good job too, with some really smart on-stage improvisations. Overall, the show ended much better than how it started. It felt good to have been a part of such an event. The decision to be involved had paid off.

AFTERMATH:
We were all so happy and excited and received many congrats from many people. After a very long photo session which involved some really crazy antics, we finally went to get some dinner. I hadn't eaten anything all day long. It was the first meal I was going to have. I had to buy 2 meals at Denny's to satisfy myself. We were around 20 odd people creating havoc in the otherwise silent diner at 3 AM. It was all still crazy. The excitement didn't wear off for a couple days after that.

We were busy analyzing each other's performances and trying to grab hold of all the photos and videos posted around facebook. Suddenly I realized a month had passed in all this. I had other things to look out for. I didn't want to care at the moment. It had to wear off like it always does...

Haunting in Wichita

We found out from a few friends that there's this bridge somewhere outside Wichita that's haunted. We never really cared about it until one night we decided to go! We were feeling like we were living inside 4 walls all the time and desperately needed some adventure. So this was the place we decided to go. At 4:00 AM.

We did some of our own research about this place. We found out it was North of Wichita and about 18 miles from our place. Not too far. 2 gallons would do it. The name was Theorosa's Bridge and we found a few websites that described the bridge and the "myth" behind it. There were so many versions to the story that we didn't know what to believe. The only common link to many of the versions was the mother who lost her baby.

We could also see that each person had his own story to tell. So rather than trying to believe what happened to the others, we wanted to find out ourselves.

1st Time : So 4 AM it was when 3 of us drove up to the bridge. The road leading to it was obviously very lonely and it looked like we were just driving into darkness. Then came the last turn that we were supposed to take to enter the dirt road that had the bridge. Within a few seconds of driving on the dirt road, we were already on the bridge and the next second we crossed it. It was such a tiny section that one would hardly notice he drove on a bridge. We turned around and drove on the bridge again, this time much slower. This time it took us 10 seconds to cross it. To be honest, it was quite disappointing. We didn't get off the car, but I knew we had to come back and experience more.

2nd Time : This time we had 5 people in the car and a little more confidence. We went up to the bridge, stopped on it and even got off. We were randomly talking, loudly. We spent over 5 mins on the bridge and one of the guys pointed at another friend and shouted "He has your baby!". We started laughing at that and suddenly heard it. It was a distinct howling kind of sound. We listened silently. The sound seemed to be growing. I first thought it was a dog howling. And then, second thoughts told me, it oddly sounded like a siren. But these guys were convinced it was a baby crying. The moment one of the guys said, "It's a baby", we panicked. We quickly got back into the car and drove off. I felt the whole thing thrilling and definitely creepy but I was still not ready to believe what I heard. There had to be a next time.

3rd Time : This time, I went there with a slightly different group. We had earlier gone to a beautiful Buddhist temple and now we were coming here to find out about ghosts. Talk about irony. Anyway, we got off the car again and just chatted around, sipping coffee. We were all quite relaxed and we mentioned, "I have your baby" quite a few times. We were doing quite fine. Suddenly we heard a sound again! I said to myself, "If this is a baby wailing, I'm NEVER coming back here". It sounded so much like a baby wailing that I was 80% convinced. But we just hung on for a few seconds more and I forced myself to think about any other object that would possibly make such a sound. Then it clicked, it was a wooden door. It was creaking it the wind. I was so relieved after I realized it. We all cooled down and continued hanging out there for some more time. We finally left that place happily. But there was one major question that was Unanswered! The nearest house was atleast 200 meters away.

How could we have heard the sound of a door creaking when there was no door nearby????

4th Time! : I managed to get here a fourth time. This time, we were nearly 10 people in 2 cars. Some of the first timers in one car were totally freaked out and wanted to leave as soon as possible. My other friends and I were having a good time there. We rested back on the hood of the car and looking out into the sky, we were counting the stars. This place was so far away from city lights that it was perfect for star gazing. The others were still freaked out and already started driving out. We were forced to leave, following them. But overall, it was a different experience. We never spoke about the bridge, or the mother, or the baby. We were in peace and we let the spirits (if there were any) rest in peace. Nobody bothered each other and everyone was happy.

That once again justifies my belief that all the God/Demon stories were created by us. While we believed in God, we also believed in the existence of Evil spirits. We created both and we actually fear both. I found peace when I believed in nothing but getting lost in the expanse of space. There was no fear of anything, neither God, nor evil.. I found my peace on a Haunted Bridge.

New Year and All Those Months!

Blogging was like the most interesting things 2 years back when I felt every small event in my life was worth posting. It was like a typical online diary. Everything had to come. Slowly that frequency reduced and now it has come down to a few posts a year!

Anyway, that was the worst possible start... "re"start to a new stint in blogging.

First of all, Happy New Year! 2 months after the New Year, I still feel un-embarrassed enough to say that. It hasn't really been eventful except for the fact that my 3rd semester in Aerospace Engineering has started. As time progressed, I was liking my coursework less and less, and now it has come to a point where I've given up complaining. Anyway, this post isn't about that. This post is about a new beginning in a new year called 2011. It's a good number for me psychologically because I was born on the 11th.

But I've had similar 'feelings' about certain numbers being good for me and the result was the exact opposite. I had to swallow back my own stupid theories.

2010 was like the most perfect definition for Yin-Yang/Dark-Light/Happy-Sad/Bittersweet/Good-Bad ... Also it wasn't just the brightness. The contrast too was overwhelming. I was surprised how things could change in no time and leave you in a completely different world. While the start for 2010 had almost everything I could ask for in my life, the middle got only 10 times better. The summer of 2010 was the time I think I would never ever forget in my life. The kind of fun and experiences I had, I might probably not get to have again. Maybe I should write a song - The Summer of 2010.

Once Fall settled in, the trees turned the scenery into beautiful desktop wallpapers. While the outside was so happy and beautiful, my insides were just burning up. Everything in the semester was going so horribly wrong that by the end, I had to give up. The stark contrast in a span of a month was what was the most shocking thing I observed. A month before, I was have the time of my life. A month later, I felt lonely around friends, I felt heavy when my head was empty, I felt tired when I took rest, I slept during the day, I stayed awake at night, I felt lost and clueless in familiar places, I felt comfortable when I was alone.. everything was just out of place. I began to feel, for the first time, that it was me who was out of place.

In much 'simpler' words, 2010 was the typical stress-strain curve. The graph rises smoothly up all the way up to the Ultimate Strength where there's a sudden SNAP! Fracture...

And with that, the very distinct year of 2010 ended. On the last day of the year, I managed to find myself hanging around with a bunch of strangers in a bar holding up a glass of champagne. Everyone else was celebrating the start of a new year while I was celebrating the end of a bittersweet year. I was in no mood of looking forward to another long weary year. But time never stops. That point has been proved with how late this post is coming up.

The third semester has started and the load on my head is back to it's usual "more-than-I-can-handle" self. Turning in scratch-paper style homework 5 minutes before close of office, losing contact with the closest of friends, unable to remember what day of the week it is, losing track of my list of things to do, sleeping during the most productive time of the day, losing touch of all my creative skills (drawing, music, photography, etc.), "forgetting" to eat and drink.... the list will go on.

So that's how life has become in a few months. A complete turn-around. Some people say, "What goes around, comes around". Will that work? Such things usually don't work on me. There's more harm hoping something good will happen, than just accepting that nothing good will ever happen. With that, I'll close this rather "not-so-happy" first post of 2011.

The Bourne Addiction

Okay. First of all, everyone who wants to curse me, please do so. I'll take it gladly for what I'm about to reveal is something so embarrassing that one would wonder how I've lived so long without doing this particular thing.

Here's the thing! I watched the three movies from the Bourne Series for the first time in my life on the 30th of June, 2010. To make matters worse, I watched the second movie first, the 1st movie second and the 3rd, last. How I didn't watch them years ago, I don't know. I really don't know. I admit I was not much into movies but I wouldn't have missed something like the Bourne Series, but it happened. Well, you're reading the 'adventures' of a guy who hasn't watched the Oceans 12, 13 movies or Troy or The Matrix movies yet, who only watched Gladiator, The Italian Job and Avatar a few weeks ago, you get what I'm saying right.. yeah, I can see you get it.

Anyway, coming back to my Bourne Adventure, when I finally watched the Bourne Supremacy in Jim's house, I was so blown away by the awesomeness of the whole plot and storyline. I came home and watched the other 2 movies in quick succession. I just loved every bit of them. Obviously, I knew that these movies were taken from novels so I quickly jumped over to reading them down. I thought reading the novels was more like my thing than watching movies. Well, that was true till kind of lost the habit of reading.

I started off with reading the first of the novels by Robert Ludlum, and it was pretty good. My reading speed reduced to almost a fraction of my original pace (when I used to finish the Rowling, Dan Brown, Meyer books in a matter of hours). I took a few days to finish this novel while loving all of it.

After a gap of 2 weeks or so, I started off with the second novel. This one was a lot slower than the first one and not so interesting too, but I liked it anyway. There was absolutely no relation between the movie and the original novel. It was like reading a completely different story that co-incidentally shared the same name with a few same characters.

That novel was done and now I'll have to move on to the next one in the series. I'm hoping this will live up to the kind of excitement I have in me to read it. I'll come back when it's done.

(Though I don't know when..)

Breathe! Aim! Fire!

My July adventures did not seem to have an end. Just a couple of days after visiting the Hutch Salt Mines, I did another thing I never did before in my life. Here's how it went.

It was a pleasant morning with clear skies and almost no breeze. Perfect day for a Space Shuttle launch? Yeah, but also perfect to test your shooting skills at the ranch!

That's what I got to do with Jim and it added to my Memorable Experiences list. We got to a shooting ranch somewhere out on the west side of Wichita all geared and loaded. I never heard a real gun go off so close to me and I was mildly startled. Some of the shots that others were firing down the range felt like jolts in my body. I took some time to get adjusted to these mini explosions and felt it better to wear the ear protection. Soon we got down to business.

Jim started pulling out his collection that included a .22, a .38 cowboy gun, a .45, and a couple of rifles, one of which was a Swiss one that had the mark of one his own ancestors. Pretty amazing feeling that would be!

We set up the targets and Jim gave me some knowledge about how to handle these arms and told me about the Rules of the Ranch. Never having held a real firearm in my hand, it felt very weird and heavy. The .22 gun was pretty easy to hold and fit well in my hand because of its size but I seriously had no idea about how it would recoil. After struggling to find focus with my eyes, I pulled the trigger. It was quite a bit off the bulls-eye but it actually struck the target. I was surprised. I know for a fact that I don't really have a steady hand (which I found out while taking photographs in low light with higher exposure), but this really surprised me. The rest of the shots were all pretty decent for a first timer. Then came the cowboy gun which was by far, the best suited gun I fired that day. My shots were so damn consistent and so close to target that I wondered if this was some kind of magic. Of course the magic wears off eventually.

The .45 was so heavy and powerful for my hands that I managed to get some shots on the paper but no where near target. One of them actually struck Jim's paper target and a couple of them just missed everything. Whoa! I was plain horrible. Meanwhile, Jim was doing an excellent job with his practice. That wasn't unexpected anyway.

Then came the rifles. I had a struggle with finding a good position to rest my arms for stability. Also the rifle was so long that I couldn't get it to fit between my hands and shoulder. It kept slipping away. After some adjustments here and there, I found a balance and had my go. Because of the supports, my aim was much better than just holding the gun up without support. These recoils were a little more scary because the face is so close to the rifle. But I had fun nonetheless.

After a satisfactory amount of shooting, we decided to call it. My ears were still ringing with the sound of the shots, so I thought I had enough too. I some guys firing .45 automatics at blinding speeds and the sound was just deafening. I wouldn't dare stare up or down the barrel of that gun.

Overall, it was a fun day that gave me an opportunity to do something I never did before in my life. I don't know how often I would be able to do this, but I would definitely love to do more of, Breathe, Aim, FIRE!

650 Feet Underground!!

July was probably my most fun filled month ever in my life. 5th July, just a day after good fun with fireworks, was another long, tiring and fun day. We planned out a small trip to Hutchinson a town about an hour's drive from Wichita. This was the second time we were going to Hutchinson to visit a 'famous' tourist attraction. Hutchinson is tiny, but it's got enough to force you to go a second time..

This time we were taking a tour deep into the Earth. One hell of a scary place if there's no lighting and ventilation! We were going to the famous Hutch Salt Mines where Salt is extracted, mostly for Industrial purposes. Though it's still an active mine, there's an actual Museum and Storage Vault 650 feet underground.

After the short drive, we bought tickets that included a "dark ride". Just moments after entering the lobby at ground level, we did really have a proper dark ride. And I'm talking about "absolute" darkness. There was not a speck of light. Suddenly in this kind of darkness we feel a kind of emptiness though we know there are lots of people standing around us. Once we got to the level we were supposed to get off, the scary sounding elevators opened and we moved on.

The view was close to what I expected and actually better. The floor was flat and done with some kind of a salt-sand mixture. I'm not very sure what that was. The walls were rough and jagged and had beautiful layers. Typical Earth-clock that shows how each era passed layer after layer.. freeze-unfreeze.

We had a guide that kept describing some of the 'phenomena' that would occur this deep down. It was all very interesting. There was a certain patch of darker rock that strangely looked like a sea horse. That was the closest resemblance to any kind of life in such a salt-filled world. Obviously, it wasn't a fossil. Just a random shape that co-incidentally looked like a sea-horse.

The museum was built into the mine or the mine was converted to a museum.. whatever. We came across some of the 'tools' the miners use. 'Tools' is very inappropriate in terms of size. Mega-tools maybe.

As we moved on, we found rock samples that had different compositions. The rest of the displays were pretty general for basic understanding of the Earth's history and evolution.

We finally came to the more interesting part of the tour. An entire Underground Storage Vault that preserved some important stuff for the country. Original drawings, movie costumes (like the ones from Superman, Batman, Charlie's Angels, etc..) and original film roles. Apparently the moisture content here was good enough to preserve these pieces for ages to come. And most importantly, they were free from most natural disasters that occur on the surface. And I don't think an earthquake would occur in the middle of kansas.. just assuming.

Then came the 'Dark Ride'. We hopped onto a small motorized train that was driven by one of the miners. He took us deeper into the mine where there was no lighting. Once again, if not for the train's headlamps, the darkness was absolute. No leaking light anywhere. We were shown how the earth constantly moves inch by inch and how the 40 foot wide pillars the miners left untouched to avoid roof-falls would slowly compress.

We saw and collected more samples and finally got back into the light. There was some interesting merchandise for which I was in no mood to spend. So we made it straight back out and 650 feet up to ground level.

Once out, we wasted no time in finding a restaurant and Bogey's it was. After a typical American lunch, we headed back home. The short drive back was sleepy and tiring. Once I got home, the day was done for good!

July 4th Special

The whole week just came alive everywhere around me. It was the week of July 4th. I got all kinds of crazy deals by mail. Especially the ones from the Guitar Center were just mouth-watering. It was the week of celebration. By the 2nd of July, things got really moving. It was a new experience to see another country celebrate their Independence, their way.

On the 2nd, we went to a local fair called the Bradley Fair, where there was a live band performing and was accompanied by super-awesomely timed fireworks. We only managed to catch the last 10 minutes of it, but those 10 minutes were the most intense ones. The sky just lit up all over and there were reflections of the fireworks on the calm lake waters just ahead of us. The whole feeling was just... different and the experience, mind-blowing. All the other people, who came in for a nice evening with lawn chairs and food, were applauding the stunning display of light and sound in the sky.

But that was only the 2nd. Then came 4th of July. The real day when everyone tried to push the limits of the State Law regarding fireworks. While most of the fireworks give similar results to stuff I've seen in India all my life during Diwali, there were some really crazy and wild ones and some really silly ones too. Not to forget some awesome ones! Damn, some were not even legal! I had crazy fun that night, mostly watching and taking photographs of the wide array of fireworks that were being shot up into the sky. There were waterproof fireworks which we would drop into a bucket of water and that would explode sending out a big splash of water.. and the ones that went up into the sky were simply mindblowing. Ofcourse fireworks are a pretty expensive affair too..

Overall, it was a great evening, watching and clicking fireworks on the 4th of July. It felt like new found Freedom, looking up into the night sky and being amazed by bursts of light..

Flying in a Stearman!!

I still feel so excited to post this. Well, here it goes!

It was June 19th and I accepted a sudden invitation to visit Jim's house. I was expecting the day to be quite a lazy one with some swimming and then relaxing in front of the TV. There was another Indian family visiting so there was quite some stuff going in the house. On the way he told me something that made my stomach do a internal flip. He told me that later that afternoon, we'd be going to check out some private owned aircraft and possible even get a ride on one of them. He told me about this before but I didn't expect it to come so quickly and so unexpectedly.

Trying to keep my excitement in control, I let the day go by. I went bicycling out in the sun for a few miles and it was fun. The almost unlimited combination of gear settings helped me well against the constant 10-15mph wind. After lunch, we had a session of watching a recorded show of the top 25 moments of MythBusters. And then, finally came the moment I was really waiting for. It was time to get movin' to get flyin'!

It was in a small airport in a small town called Benton. The airport was easily the smallest and most accessible I ever saw. The parking lot was quite literally inside. Step out of the car, step onto the grass and you're already a few meters from the runway. We casually walked around looking for Jim's friend who was no where to be seen. We accidentally gate-crashed into a private party that was being held in one of the hangars. We came across some exotic antique cars, planes and helicopters and I wanted to take photos of everything. Among the antiques, there were also some modern Camaros, Carreras and Aerobatic planes, gliders and stuff. There was just too much to take in.

After long walks up and down the runway in the extreme heat, we still couldn't find Jim's friend. There was a rock band playing outside a bar and we even looked inside to see if he was there. Finally after a long wait the stearman flew in. It landed just a few meters away and it was quite spectacular to watch. After the plane taxied, we could meet him at last. It was a little disappointing to hear him say he was almost done for the day. He wanted to take some of his family members out into the sky and end the day. Jim and I just hung around watching the smoke fly-bys and taking bursts of photos. After 2 rides, we realized he was done for the day.

But suddenly, he pointed straight at me and pointed into the empty seat in the cockpit! For a second I was like, "You're Kidding!" But he wasn't! Jim urged me forward and said, "Here's your chance". Unable to believe my luck, I went forward. I got into the leather head gear and got buckled to the seat. I had to receive a few instructions on not to step on or hold any of the delicate fabric made wings. Of course the main thing was not to touch any of the controls in the cockpit. I was sitting in the front cockpit and Randy (the pilot) was sitting behind me. Within seconds, we taxied onto the runway and off we went. The noise of the wind was almost drowning the sound of the engine. The moment we took off, the ground just disappeared under me. The take-off speed was much lower than usual commercial aircraft so there was no feeling of everything draining out of the head. Or maybe I was too excited to notice that! The view was amazing! The green fields and an unobstructed view of the horizon. I felt like I was flying free. The lack of any barriers or noise insulation just made the whole thing 10 times more exciting.

I'm getting into the seat carefully

Once in the air, he tapped me on my elbow and did a thumbs up asking me if I was ok with continuing. Is that even a question to ask? Of course I wanted to go on. And I did a healthy thumbs up to say go on as long as you can. I tried taking pictures with my camera but just couldn't hold it up. Inspite of both hands supporting the camera, I was still struggling to hold it in place. The drag my hands were experiencing was just too much. 80mph is not really an easy speed to hold hands out. At one instance, I got distracted and almost had the camera slipping out of my hands. Luckily I held on. By this time, I switched to video shooting mode to see how it would come out.

My view from the cockpit of the Stearman

And this went on for just 5 minutes. We were making simple trips around the airport and releasing occasional smoke for some effect. Soon we were descending and lining up with the runway. Everything was so undramatic. Very unlike the usual commercial jets that take hours to taxi and prepare for take off and follow similar procedures for landing, regarding altitudes and rate of descent. One second we were many hundreds of feet in the air and next second we almost touching the ground, the grass rather. The approach was undramatic again and I held on to my camera recording the whole sequence. I could feel some bounces during touch down but I never really cared. My camera was still running while we were taxiing. I was still very excited even after coming to a rest and getting ready to get off the wonderful ride.

After experiencing the 5 minutes of ups and downs and swerving and maneuvering, I suddenly felt the ground a little too stationary. First I bumped my head into the upper wing on the biplane configuration while getting down. Later I found I wasn't walking straight and steady. There was a little disorienting feeling while walking. So all the weird feelings came to me on the ground, not while in the air. Maybe that's a hint that I belong in the air..! I wish... After giving some big handshakes and thank yous, we finally headed out.

Anyway, I also noticed my lips were stuck on a wide smile even 10 minutes after it was all over. We went to a gas station to buy an energy drink because of all the dehydrating heat around. In my case, I used it to calm me down. I was so excited that the energy drink actually brought my activity/adrenaline levels a little lower. I finally settled down in the passenger seat still thinking about those 5 minutes.

After getting back, we had dinner and it was time for me to end the day. Clearly, I wasn't ready to end it. I knew I'd have trouble sleeping and it was true. Jim dropped me home and I couldn't hold my excitement narrating all the events of the day. After spending hours going through the photos and videos and showing them to friends, uploading them on social networks, I managed to settle down to sleep. That was when I realised how tired I actually was and ended up sleeping like a log..

FIFA is Here!

Well, my Previous Post was a little too monochromatic and dull, so here's something that's more fun to talk about. Football! Real Football. I used to find it weird to use the word "Soccer". Sounded too American. But I kinda got used to it and now find it weird to say Football because I'm not sure the other person took it as Real Football or American Football. Ah crap! What confusion...

The Beautiful Game is back! It was almost on the brink of disappearing from my life. I kinda revived it after buying a Football at a WalMart store. I stepped out quite a few times to bring back that old flexibility into my legs, give some passes, some crosses, a few shoots. It's fun playing on "Grass" at last! Even the virtual side of the game came back into my life with the PC FIFA. It's fun too...

The final straw that had to get me obsessed with the game I'm already obsessed with, is the FIFA World Cup 2010. Thank God there's something out there on TV to watch. Not that I have a TV but there's something out there somewhere (on the internet) that I can finally watch and enjoy. After its start, some big teams with big reps have faltered in performance and that makes it only so much more exciting. I'm hoping to have a great month ahead at least with the Football matches..

This time, I've decided not to support any team in particular. Just saying...

Testing Waves!

Er.. End of Semester!

Yeah. It's a little hard to believe the fact that the first semester of my Master's program has already come close to closing. It still feels like yesterday that I started a completely new life in a new country with a new environment, and the first semester is already done! Am I supposed to say I've learned enough to know how to exist all by myself now that I've lived through a semester here? I doubt that.

January was when it all started and it's only been 4 months now and according to plan, I should have been all settled and comfortable by now. But in reality, I'm still getting used to a lot of things. Its quite true that I've learned certain things too quickly, for example Cooking! And also living alone! Both of these, I've never ever done in my life before. I suddenly jumped into a life of being away from family, having to cook for myself, but I've caught on very fast. That's something I didn't expect from myself.

Suddenly I'm staring at 2 months of absolute freedom in which I have no idea what to do. Not managing to land a job on campus sucks big time! This summer is really a huge waste of time as there are no summer classes for me to choose from either!

Anyway, that brings this uninteresting post to and end. Started this a long time back and left the draft pending till I had the patience and interest to get back to it. When I regain some interest, I'll be back...

Treasure in the Middle of Nowhere

Ever since I heard of it, I've been desperate to go to the Kansas Cosmosphere Space Center. Finally one good looking Friday, I got the chance after Jim invited me to go with him. I was able to convince Chaky into coming with me. The 'convincing' part was pretty easy because he was just as interested as me to go there. So off we went on the Friday during the Spring Break.

The place where its located is called Hutchinson, about an hour from Wichita. The ride was good and once we reached the place, I could see 2 tall rockets sticking up around the building. The excitement in me doubled. Finally we entered the 'small' looking building. The moment I entered, I was dumbstruck.

It was hanging right there in front of me. The aircraft that I read so much about. The aircraft I admired so much because of the amount of technology that was put into it at a time like the 1970's. The aircraft that could travel at 3 times the speed of sound and is still the fasted manned aircraft. An Aerospace Engineer's dream, the SR-71 Blackbird. A few months back, I never thought of actually seeing this aircraft up so close. "I'm pretty sure the surviving models won't be anywhere near where I'm gonna stay in the US", I thought.

But here it was. Right in the middle of the Mid-West where everyone thinks there's nothing here. I found pure pleasure in moving my hand across the smooth 'carbon-fiber feel' exterior of the aircraft. The material felt like it could break with a punch. This material resisting pressure-waves and high temperatures at Mach 3 was a little hard to think of. After a huge photo session to make sure I covered every possible angle of the aircraft, I moved on with the others to see the rest of the stuff in the museum, some of which were more precious and prestigious than the SR-71.

There was a model of the Space Shuttle Endeavor which merged itself into the building and made way for the stairs and escalator. Half way between the Ground floor and the next level, we stand on what's supposed to be the wing of the shuttle. Felt pretty cool to look all the way down to the nose from the wing area to understand the size of the shuttle. Also the backview of the SR-71 was cool from this location.

Another plane hanging from the ceiling in the front hall was a so-called "Astronaut's Sportscar". It was like the personal ride for the astronauts who had a pilot's license and were not currently in space. Cool!

As we moved underground, treasure and treasure kept popping onto us. There was a complete room dedicated to the 'famous' German V-2 Rockets - more or less the foundation to modern rockets. The stories behind these Buzz bombs, V2s and other Cold War stories were just great to listen to. I wondered why all this wasn't so interesting when I was learning History in School.

The space capsules, real ones that flew and came back, were just mind blowing. The space inside to sit or rather 'lie down' was just so narrow that I would find it hard to fit in myself, being so thin! Again the stories of the Astronauts who struggled through these difficult phases of Space Exploration and made it all possible, were just awesome. After checking out a models of the Lunar Lander and the famous Soyuz-Apollo project, we came to the end of the museum. What an experience it was. Liberal amounts of knowledge was flowing into the brain. I was so full that I was hungry!

We took a few more pictures of the SR-71 and soon moved out into the cold! It was a warm bright day when we started and chilly and rainy when we stepped out. There was a prediction of snowfall by midnight (it actually came sooner than that!).

We came to Wichita and stopped at a restaurant called Passage to India. After nearly 3 months, I was tasting proper Indian food (Americanized of course!). Chicken Pakodas, Meat Samosa, (Cheese+Ginger+Butter) Naans, Chicken Tikka Masala, and some rice. Ah. That was quite a good meal but as expected there was a definite lack of flavour and spice in spite of asking for the spiciest available dishes.

That was 'supper' at 6:30PM. Felt weird as I am pretty much used to 10PM-12PM dinners. And finally we came back home and immediately it was time to upload pictures all over the network to 'let people know'.

In the end, a great day and a great experience. A perfect qualification for a blog post. That's why it's here. And I'm outta here..

Break Time!

Phew! I finally got some time to post. It's slowly coming down to a post a month. A pretty bad record considering the fact that I started off with almost 20 a month. Anyway, Spring Break is here, and I finally am getting to look around me, feel myself to make sure I'm ok, and know things. The last month was pretty hectic. Hectic enough to make me come to a point of throwing my hands up in defeat. The innumerable number of assignments and exams that I had really brought me to the edge of my patience. Somehow, I held on and lived through it.

The results weren't good enough in spite of working extra hard. What I did in the last 2 months, had I done in the last 4 years, I would have been guaranteed a Gold Medal in the University.. heck!

Anyway, after all that books and studies and silence, I finally got to stretch my wings before Spring Break (March 6th). A trip to Ponca City, Oklahoma was the exact antidote to my brain filled with Aerodynamics Relations and Orbital Mechanics. The trip was fun, and I had a real pleasure time looking at the vast expanse of endless land of Mid-Western America. It was also the first time I was stepping out of Kansas, and Wichita for that matter. After setting foot in Chicago, Illinois, I never saw another city or town or state. So this was quite an eventful trip.

Just when Spring Break was just about to start (March 10th), I had the next big thing of my life. A GUITAR! After almost 2 weeks of confusion and tough decision making, I decided to buy an Ibanez Metal Guitar Jumpstart Package. Just about the right thing that I needed in a new country filled with music of my favourite genre. From then on, its just been a breeze, playing around the frets of the guitar and having some real good time. My friend Jim infact had his new Apple Mac Desktop installed and we had a blast connecting the guitar to the amp through the Mac's pre-installed Garage Band's FX modules. What great fun it was! Overall, half of my Spring Break has already gone in spending time with the new guitar, highly addictive as it is.

Hopefully this week will end with me paying a visit to the Kansas Comsmosphere (something we've been postponing from a long time!). This is a museum where an actual SR-71 Blackbird is hung from the ceiling. Ever since I heard of that, I've been highly impatient to visit that place. If this saturday works out, I'll get to see some really cool NASA junk and the retired "Fastest Manned Plane on Earth". Finger crossed tightly for this one!

That's all for the wrap on the last one month. Hope there's lots more exciting stuff to come in the future, and I hope I get back to blogging a little more seriously!

Memory Lane

Damn, I almost forgot I maintain a blog. After a month, I suddenly was reminded that it exists and its rotting! Just to silence the silence, I came back to post something. Something about nothing. Lots of things happen around me, and yet nothing's worth posting. Or maybe its the other way round. Everything is so highly worth posting that my brain isn't enough to store all the sights and sounds that I'm currently experiencing. I've already forgotten the names of stuff I ate outside, and the places I visited. By the time I get the idea to post about something, something more happens and I wait for a little more time, or that memory simply disappears from the memory. The endless loop went on and on till today when I finally found some time to post.

Its about nothing! Really. True, I'm traveling around a lot. Seeing new things. Experiencing new cultures. Making new friends. Hmm, sounds like a lot? But really, it's all been nothing. When I look back, nothing big really happened. Maybe the tolerance level that a certain event could qualify for a post on the blog has turned strict. Back home, a visit to a computer store would make it to the blog. And now, I visited one of my favourite stores on Earth, the Guitar Center, and yet I didn't bother posting!?! That was after I made it a point on the blog to visit the store! Tolerance level definitely very strict.

Every exam in college would make an appearance here. And I just completed 2 very difficult exams, one of which I screwed so badly, I feel like pulling all my hair out, and yet it didn't make it here. Not before now at least!

Every time I went out to eat (family or friends), I would make it a point to put it in here. In the last month, I went out so many times, saw new Restaurants and Bars and Clubs(ex. Buffalo Wild Wings, Denny's, Hooters, 2 Bros BBQ, etc.) in Wichita, liked them, but never bothered to post it before this.

So nothing really big happened. But all that posted above did happen. So I think I'm the bad judge here who couldn't decide what was worth posting and what wasn't.

But then, there's one thing that's actually worth posting. I took part in this program called American Family friend, and was matched with this really nice family that has kept my weekends alive. Last weekend's BBQ lunch buffet was excellent. For once, I tried proper American food, something I didn't do justice to every since I landed here. Learning new cultures first hand, rather that reading it about in some book turned about to be quite interesting. Probably the biggest discussions relate to food, but then lots of other things crop up and time just passes by over a plate of lunch or dinner. On a recent visit to the family's house I spent such a long time there that my friends actually got worried what happened to me. And an upcoming event that I'm really really looking forward to is the Kansas Cosmosphere where an actual SR-71 Blackbird is suspended from the ceiling. Ah! Somebody take me there!

As for experience, I think the rather long story, which actually promised that there was nothing, ends here. I hope to come back to post as soon as possible.

Leaking Money Week

Ah! What a week I had. Crazy is a small word for it. And all this suddenly makes me wish (can't believe this is the 10th time I'm saying this!) I can revert my life back 4 years to join in as an undergrad student.

It started off with the start of the semester with subjects I only had a vague idea about, particularly after giving a major pause to studies. The classes go on as usual and there's lots of notes to jot down, lots of things to listen to (unlike the monotonous classes I experienced for 4 years!), and lots of things to finish up before and after class (unlike the previous 4 years again!). While that threatened to keep me busy all the time, I did manage to find a few elements of what we call 'fun'.

Phew! Thanks to an Indian-born friend who wanted to check out the city just like us and he had a car thankfully! I was surprised at how difficult it is to do small things without a car. Finally after nearly 10 days of sitting at home and doing nothing, I entered Wichita like a visitor. A bright eyed visitor who wanted to absorb every sight that came his way. We weaved our way through the downtown areas, the old town areas and stuff. The weaving and wandering was mainly because we were constantly getting lost. We didn't have the GPS system in the car and we had to find our way with phone conversations and stuff.

What I observed was, the buildings are pretty damn old and they were all sending out some kind of a historical message. The effect was there. The medium tall buildings standing out with quite some exquisite modern designs all surrounded by these majestic old buildings. It was a nice sight to watch. Like a blessing in disguise, we got lost almost everytime we went out. I had to keep referring back to the maps and find our way out (it was possible to find our way because it wasn't India). Every time we were lost, we found places and new roads and how they connected back to where we wanted to go. As of now, the only place I'm dying to walk into is the Guitar Center!!

On another note, roaming around at night inside the safety of the car was definitely fun but sometimes scary! After the snow fell, the roads gave up what we call in Physics, "Friction". We were slipping and sliding around everywhere and one of the skids was a little too dangerous when we fish-tailed during a turn, and once more when we er.. came sliding down an exit ramp. Scary!

Coming to the main note. Money-Leaking! Ok. Here comes the bad part. Wanna have fun, keep cash. Lots. We went crazy going around town and throwing money here and there (quite literally!). While some basic things are real damn cheap, food just bores a hole through the pocket! As far as I could count, the prospect of dinner outside always ended up with us returning with half empty pockets.

So this week, money went down the drain like soap water. Money leaking at its peak. Keeping the hope that the coming weeks, months and years won't leak money this way, I'll sign off...

P.S: Heavily delayed post because high-speed internet access is no good unless you have hours of time to spare with you (writing a post does take time!!)

Divided we Fall

When I was in school I used to read great things about India. We have so many states, so many religions, so many languages, so many cultures. I was amazed by all this knowledge and I truly believed what I read in the books. Soon, I found these books had a knack of showing only the shiny side of things. It was when I started reading the papers, that I began seeing reality.

India has so many states! And every state hates its neighboring states. There's always competition, there's always tension. Who is controlling the water. Who is controlling power. And now its a new trend to fight within states. Everybody wants that beautiful Chief Minister's title. What's the simplest way to get there? Definitely not struggle, work your way up, gain respect and earn the Chair. No. Start a new party (based on caste, language, region, religion etc.) and protest for a separate state. Excellent. I love rock music. I'll gather a big bunch of Rock fans and create a Hard Rock State of my own! Sounds wonderful doesn't it? I'll be Hard Rock CM. And for my political campaigns, Mark Tremonti will be shredding guitar. Oh! And my party symbol can easily be a guitar. \m/

India has so many religions! Once again I was brainwashed by the books. That all religions co-exist peacefully. I used to listen to all kinds of patriotic songs that praised the secular nature of India. And what do I see on TV. Communal riots, religious clashes, all kinds of nonsense. People openly criticizing other religions without even knowing that in the end all prayers are heard by One or heard by None! I strongly believe it's the latter!

When it comes to language, my brain goes into a tizzy. 1800 odd languages? (Its 1652, but I'm including the unknown ones too!) 1.2 Billion people. That's 666,666 people for every language (oops 666). Ok that was illogical! There are a few languages that are spoken like within a handful of people, so calculations and averages count for nothing. Obviously that would spring a new problem. It gets us back to the State separation. They were originally separated according to linguistic differences and probably that helped organise the country (which is still pretty highly disorganised) but ended up creating big barriers for the same reason of linguistic differences. So in theory, that gives us 1800 states! Can we live like that? Obviously, people move in and out of states and languages get jumbled. Sometimes it's work, sometimes family, sometimes something else. In the end we find people speaking multiple languages to converse and survive.

Is that bad? Then why all the mess that was splashed all over the news? The assembly hall becoming a wrestling arena because the oath-taker was speaking in the National Language and not regional? I got one word for it! Overly Frustrated Attention Seekers (oops that's 4 words). After centuries of coexistence, we still can't bear these minor differences that pop up. Why should only Marathis live in Maharashtra and why should they only speak in Marathi when there are 1799 other languages that belong to our country? Why should a Telangana state be created only for people living in that region? When the world is running away with technological advancements, ambitious, innovative, path-breaking, out-of-the-box ideas, we are still confining ourselves to within-the-box. And foolishly, we are making that box smaller. Things are supposed to grow over time, not shrink. Minds are supposed to get broader. Like people always rightly observe, there are only 2 things that grow in India. Economy and Population. Nothing else.

Already there was a huge debate over the so-called 'Pub Culture' and 'Mall Culture', as if they are some kinda cultures. Like people would prefer to buy 100 things in 100 shops than under a single roof called a Mall. How the heck could that be against Indian Culture? Did those ancient culture-creators, guess that 21st Century people will experience 'newer' cultures? Did they predict that people would try to save time buying all things at once, and that people would find hanging out in a public-house as a form of relaxation? Surely they wouldn't have been able to. And surely they wouldn't have written any rules that these were against 'our culture'. I feel like laughing thinking about this senseless thinking.

India is Democratic! Should have been the best thing about our country. But is it? Its letting people do what they want. Create state? Create. Create Language? Create. Protest new government? Protest. Demolish Mosque? Demolish. Start Riot? Start it. Own rules? So be it. Its as easy as creating a new variable and assigning your own value and properties to it for Programming. No one to stop you. No one to ask you. You do whatever it takes to feel comfortable and make your program work. Let the other variables get garbage values. Makes no difference to my variable.

So, we are diverse. Extremely diverse in all respects. And we have no respect for it. We were supposed to be proud of it, but we have been brainwashed. We were supposed to be together but we forgot. We need some reminding. We need more Tendulkars who proudly declare themselves as belonging to the country than a particular state or city or whatever (Never mind those handful of self-proclaimed 'protectors' of Culture). Natural Calamities, Terrorist Attacks, these are what bring people together. The few times when the barriers of religion, race, etc vanish (only to reappear once the calamity has passed). Can't even call them a 'Blessing in Disguise' with the unjust loss of so many lives. But only such radical stuff seems to be working for us. Or else, we continue to remain divided and we continue to fall apart.

Loss of a Brother

This is definitely one of the most painful posts I'm going to write on this blog. The reason? My cousin, Amarnath died suddenly at the age of 21 at a time when things looked ripe for him.

He was a Radio Jockey at Radio Mirchi Vizag before which he worked with SFM. Both his shows were local and never reached Hyderabad but every time I went there, I could sense the amount of excitement people had, to listen to his shows. They were a clear hit and he garnered praises within no time. Within 2 years he attained what could be called as a Mini-Celebrity status. Maybe not everyone knew his face, but everyone knew his voice.

But he wasn't just about 'RJ-ing'. He was something more than that. Right from his childhood, he was naturally attached to music. It came to his head and it flowed through his hands. During the years that he spent at Kirandul/Bacheli, I came to know of his great musical talents. He completed professional courses in Tabla and used to mostly spend his time with the Keyboard. At his age (same as mine), he was just genius. The timing, the sense of rhythm and tune, etc. were way to good for me to fathom. The way he used the 'Fingering' option with his left hand to add bass/rhythm to his right hand lead was just too awesome to put in words. His dad (another music junkie), set up an array of speakers creating a surround effect in the small Railway Quarter room in Bacheli. I used to love to go there just for the music and all that equipment. By then, he could play Keyboard, Tabla, Mandolin, Mouth Organ, and knew the basics of guitar. He was the perfect blend of Western with Indian Classical. One could say he was one of my first inspirations despite being a few months younger to me.

A few years later, I managed to catch some of the finer points of music and went to him loaded with a bunch of chords and theories. I first learnt the chords on Keyboard and then translated them onto a guitar for better understanding. And when I met him again, I noticed he was playing quite some exquisite chords. The same old technique, playing a melodious hit 'Bollywood/Tollywood' song's lead vocal tune with the right hand and backing it with rhythm/bass fingering and chords. And occasionally he would change the beat style with a nice fill-in and change the instrument too between verses. The overall effect it brought out was just the most soothing feeling on Earth. This time I could understand what he was doing with the buttons and pedals, but the other 'laymen' in the room were just stunned by his musical genius.

I asked him where he learnt all those chords. Because apparently he didn't seem to be learning from any book or teacher. He simply replied this,

"I hear the song and I play it."

"But what about those Chords that you're playing with your left hand? Where did you learn them?"

"I just play certain keys together because they sound good and in key".

"Did you know you were playing the famous Am-G-F sequence there?"

"Oh! It's called A minor? I didn't know that"

The last jam session I had with him. We had quite some fun that day..

That was him and his Musical Genius. Within no time he also got good with the guitar chords and started showing me some interesting strumming patterns that he 'discovered'. Every stage, he just blew away people. All his life, he just did that with no effort.

Even his Radio Jockeying skills were no less. His unique mix of clean-Hindi with the Filmy Telugu was an instant hit in Vizag where Hindi is almost non-existent. The people accepted him graciously and showered him with unending praise. Suddenly the name RJ Amar was larger than life, a resurrection of FM Radio, which was pretty boring until private companies started taking over. His fan clubs on Social Networking sites went gaga over him and he achieved in a short span of time, what many couldn't. He came like a flash of lightning and left the same way.

Where ever he was, there was laughter and fun. Just naturally humourous, he could make anyone laugh at any time. Playing with words was like a sport for him. Again his unique mix brought out the most unexpectedly funny humour.

He came, he made us laugh, he conquered everyone's hearts and he left.

A-mar itself means immortal. Maybe not physically, but his legacy definitely is. The few memories that I have of him will live on forever. May his 'Immortal' soul Rest in Peace.

Diwali 2009

16th to 18th October this year. One of the most awaited festivals of India. The brightest, and noisiest festival, the 'Festival of Lights', Diwali.

Twisted Tales from the past go so many thousands of years back that no body can confirm the truth anymore as to why this festival is celebrated. Is it because Rama returned to Ayodhya? Or because Lord Krishna killed Narakasura? Or because Jainism and Sikhism have special significance on this day? Who knows? Lets just settle with 'victory of good over evil' for now. But one thing's for sure, the whole of India goes berserk during this festival.

Other than the whitewashing of houses, distribution of sweets, lighting of lamps, performing poojas, etc., the most awaited 'spectacle' of day involves fireworks.

The nights are no longer dark nights. They are filled with lights and sounds creating breath-taking views across entire regions. Having celebrated this festival with much enthusiasm all through my life, I should have been bored with the regularities. But somehow the energy in the air is so addictive that it pulls you in like a magnet.

This year I was left 'handicapped' without a camera at my disposal. Over the last few years, I found great solace in capturing interesting photographs of fireworks in action, rather than contributing to the noise and air pollution. And the lack of a camera this year really sky-rocketed my frustration/anger levels. While the pollution levels around rose to crazy numbers, my brain was having an internal civil war with my body. Should I go out and have fun? Should I really? What could be a possible reason to celebrate? I had none. On the contrary, I had every reason to stay silent and subdued.

I happily chose not to involve myself in any buying, but did end up at the fireworks shop to satisfy the rest of my family. After all, why should they suffer for my weirdo behaviour? I also ended up holding a few sparklers and lighting a few fireworks to reflect the happiness on the others' faces. Like magic I was transformed. I became part of the celebration in no time. The happiness was infectious. Go ahead, have some fun. It's something you need desperately.

Letting myself loose was probably one of the best things I did this month and the satisfaction is something I hope would linger. But obviously it won't and it can't.

Diwali is about 'lighting your inner self'. Have I achieved that? Probably. Probably not. I can't make out the difference anymore. Am I happy? Am I sad? Or am I suspended somewhere in between? I can't answer that too. Which way is up? Which way is down? I can't tell.

Diwali has ended. Other than leaving behind lots of pollution, what has changed? Nothing. No 'inner light'. No light at all!

Maybe I must let things move on a little. Let things ease up a little. Probably I'll be able to pinpoint my location then and move the right direction.

Discover a problem, find a possible solution and wait.

I wait.

Still waiting... still knocking at Heaven's Door.