Blogging was like the most interesting things 2 years back when I felt every small event in my life was worth posting. It was like a typical online diary. Everything had to come. Slowly that frequency reduced and now it has come down to a few posts a year!
Anyway, that was the worst possible start... "re"start to a new stint in blogging.
First of all, Happy New Year! 2 months after the New Year, I still feel un-embarrassed enough to say that. It hasn't really been eventful except for the fact that my 3rd semester in Aerospace Engineering has started. As time progressed, I was liking my coursework less and less, and now it has come to a point where I've given up complaining. Anyway, this post isn't about that. This post is about a new beginning in a new year called 2011. It's a good number for me psychologically because I was born on the 11th.
But I've had similar 'feelings' about certain numbers being good for me and the result was the exact opposite. I had to swallow back my own stupid theories.
2010 was like the most perfect definition for Yin-Yang/Dark-Light/Happy-Sad/Bittersweet/Good-Bad ... Also it wasn't just the brightness. The contrast too was overwhelming. I was surprised how things could change in no time and leave you in a completely different world. While the start for 2010 had almost everything I could ask for in my life, the middle got only 10 times better. The summer of 2010 was the time I think I would never ever forget in my life. The kind of fun and experiences I had, I might probably not get to have again. Maybe I should write a song - The Summer of 2010.
Once Fall settled in, the trees turned the scenery into beautiful desktop wallpapers. While the outside was so happy and beautiful, my insides were just burning up. Everything in the semester was going so horribly wrong that by the end, I had to give up. The stark contrast in a span of a month was what was the most shocking thing I observed. A month before, I was have the time of my life. A month later, I felt lonely around friends, I felt heavy when my head was empty, I felt tired when I took rest, I slept during the day, I stayed awake at night, I felt lost and clueless in familiar places, I felt comfortable when I was alone.. everything was just out of place. I began to feel, for the first time, that it was me who was out of place.
In much 'simpler' words, 2010 was the typical stress-strain curve. The graph rises smoothly up all the way up to the Ultimate Strength where there's a sudden SNAP! Fracture...
And with that, the very distinct year of 2010 ended. On the last day of the year, I managed to find myself hanging around with a bunch of strangers in a bar holding up a glass of champagne. Everyone else was celebrating the start of a new year while I was celebrating the end of a bittersweet year. I was in no mood of looking forward to another long weary year. But time never stops. That point has been proved with how late this post is coming up.
The third semester has started and the load on my head is back to it's usual "more-than-I-can-handle" self. Turning in scratch-paper style homework 5 minutes before close of office, losing contact with the closest of friends, unable to remember what day of the week it is, losing track of my list of things to do, sleeping during the most productive time of the day, losing touch of all my creative skills (drawing, music, photography, etc.), "forgetting" to eat and drink.... the list will go on.
So that's how life has become in a few months. A complete turn-around. Some people say, "What goes around, comes around". Will that work? Such things usually don't work on me. There's more harm hoping something good will happen, than just accepting that nothing good will ever happen. With that, I'll close this rather "not-so-happy" first post of 2011.
