Mind Maze, The

Hating to wake up every morning. Its a nightmare opening the paper and reading mood-spoiling news. I still do it. I still read it. The sickness sets in immediately. The mind goes into a maze.

What all should I do today? What all can I do today? Can I step onto the street and come back home safely? I'm taking a risk with this one. What if some stupid guy draped in 'pink' misses his shopping-mall-window-pane target and breaks my head with a stone? What if I meet a friend on the road and some cop comes and arrests us for forming a 'group' on the road? What is happening to the city I only just began to explore and love?

I gotta buy some stuff. I gotta get some vaccinations done. I need to rush to the bank to finish up the financial stuff. I need to meet my friends before I leave the country. I need to meet relatives/family. I need to step outside home for all this. When do I do all this? Life cannot afford to go out of gear because of some stupid 'pink' guys who are lead by lying Pinocchios with noses so big that the point is way too obvious!

I go out to buy stuff. I go get my vaccinations done. I reach the bank amid all worries about closing... oh! And the bank is another whole new problem at hand. We have these 'bankers' to deal with! The T issue is nothing before this. Applying for a loan for the first time? Aha! Enjoy the ride of your life! You ask what documents you gotta bring to finish up the process, and they lazily say, "Ah! Your usual visa, passport copies, stamps, BURP! (no "excuse me" follows), and yeah.. that's it". And you go there the next day with the required documents and the lady at a counter gives you a letter and says, "Get a Rs.10000 registrar stamp on this". Bam! They mention docs but not the money? And here comes the tighter slap. She gives me a draft with recipient as the bank itself and the value on that? "Rs 1,21,583 /-" "Pay that downstairs and come back now". NOW? What do you think I'd carry that amount in my pocket and walk around??? That 'simple' thing cost us a whole day.. how very appropriate when time's happily running out! The next day, another bandh. Tell me something new...

These frustrations piled up so bad, my head got jammed for a few hours! I entered the mind maze. Trying to find a way out. Every turn seemed to lead me only deeper and deeper in but never out. The walls were getting higher, darker and creepier. The self-confidence was ebbing. It was matter of holding on to the last fragments of confidence.

Somehow I held on and things got clearer. Some quick calculations led us to understand why we were expected to pay that amount in the first place. What lessons for first timers!

Reached the end of the maze at least! The cup was there, gleaming in the darkness. Is this another Harry Potter plot? Will this portkey transport me to a darker, creepier, more dangerous place after all this struggle i went through? I just hope not. But it may well be so.. only the next year will tell...

Send off #2

Its actually supposed to be the third (possibly fourth). Yesterday I saw off Chakydhar at the airport. And I'll be following suit pretty soon. Another 15 days for me to take off. I gotta rush and finish up all the remaining stuff that's necessary. The drive to the airport was fun. Taking the new 11.6 KM Expressway on which I never travelled before, we reached the airport much sooner than usual. The ride was definitely bumpy and sometimes scary with the sharp curves and sudden narrowed down roads, but overall it was acceptable. An achievement I must say!

The send-off crowd at the airport was Extreme to be understating. We couldn't stand straight for a few minutes and talk to Chakydhar before his final steps into the terminal. After some hurried talking and interruptions (between which I managed to give him a contact number of my cousin), we decided it was time to move. 5 minutes passed after we met, and we were already leaving. It felt odd. We spoke to Yaseen for so long while he was leaving to the UK. Anyway, once back in the car, we zoomed our way back. A small hint at hitting Hard Rock Cafe was trashed after coming to know of some disturbance on the roads regarding the sickening Telangana Issue (80% of which is highly exaggerated by News Channels!!). No Risk, No Pain. Our motto was simple and we headed home quickly.

That brought my day to a close and set in the emptiness. Things are beginning to happen. After Yaseen, Sudershan and now Chaky, all left, the city of 8.5 million feels only half full. There's a small hope that i'll be back among friends once I take off too. Till then.....

2012: Future is Past

Ok. This is one of the hottest topics of 2009. 2012. And why was it the most talked about thing? Not because people believed or did not believe in it. It was mostly because of the movie that was released. It was a self igniting fire. The movie was helped by the rumours and the rumours were spread by the movie. In the end we don’t know who started it all but the filmmakers made big bucks after finding a nice reason to exploit the effects of multiple destructive forces of Nature all acting at once. Sounds like the perfect disaster movie. Disastrous in both ways? Probably yes, probably not.

 

I heard and read so much about this movie that I found myself left in the dark while everyone else talked about it. I just heard a single sentence review mostly: “Awesome graphics (everyone uses it now), illogical story-line”. Ok. In one of the most unplanned plans of my life I rushed to this movie almost a month after release and still found myself sitting 2 rows from the bottom! Tickets selling like hot cakes? Hardly any doubt. Is it innocent curiosity about the world coming to an end, or is it ignorant over-confidence to only check out the “awesome graphics”? I would definitely put myself under the second category. Basically no one was interested in the logic of the plot. Good. First thing before watching a Disaster Movie, leave all feelings, emotions, humanity, etc back at home. You’re watching 2 hours of pure destruction and death. Merciless filmmakers and helpless audience. It’s illogical to include logic here. What happens when Godzilla smashes its tail carelessly into an NYC building? Hundreds die, but did we care? No. We couldn’t wait to see its eggs in Madison Square Garden.

 

First of all the movie starts of with a scientist in the Department of Astrophysics, University of Chennai detecting some “neu-thingies” from a mega solar flare causing some kind of action under the earth. Ok catchy stuff there. And what do we see next, leaking rooftops, weird elevator. I didn’t get that. And once they enter the lab, crazy gadgetry, high-tech equipment, what not. Why the stark contrast between inside and outside? And why was an actor with an American accent being forced to speak English with an Indian accent? And also forced to speak Hindi when he clearly couldn’t!! Did the film makers expect no Indian to watch this movie? At least 15 Million people might have watched it in the initial days it self. Alright, he warns this guy and suddenly things fly over board because it’s happening faster than they imagined. And soon California starts disappearing and wheel sets into motion. The end of the world was only days away. It took some time for me to get accustomed to the ‘good luck’ of the main characters. That’s where ‘logic’ comes into play and I began ignoring their good luck. From here I only concentrated on the VFX that everyone was so happily praising.

 

True to their word, I was blown. A plane lacking enough lift flies in between cracks created when the Earth breaks open, and a subway train just flies out of the tube? Ok. I was shocked by the idea, but god, it was awesome. In spite of having quite a good idea about how most of these ‘unbelievably believable’ things are done, I was forced to believe. And the story went on and on and on. Everywhere we find millions just disappearing into deep cracks, under volcanoes, under tsunamis, and what not. The ones being secretly escorted to ‘Arks’ are the high profile guys who got enough load in their pockets to buy the costliest thing on Earth, Life. Until I saw that movie, I never thought Life was for sale. But apparently it is and you got to be filthy rich to buy a ticket to Life. What a destination! Meanwhile the rest of the world doesn’t even know anything until the brave US President stays back and lets the world know. And in between the contrasts, come the ‘normal’ guys who have nothing short of an adventure to crash land into China and Zip off on a Bentley that starts on Voice Command. Somebody finally thinks more ‘human’ and makes an attempt to go rebel. Obviously it’s too late to save the 6 billion people that included the Indian scientist who detected it all. The lead characters in the movie were just those toys that got lucky every time. Somehow they just escaped everything, almost entirely unscathed! Miracle. Either people get killed brutally or are totally safe with their tuxes and leather boots still shining. Finally the drama seemed to come to a close after the ship with a jammed door finally gets sealed. Lives are actually saved from peril and there’s a hero for the first time in the movie. That had to happen or else it would have played to empty seats.

 

Like the other science fiction movies, you’re made to feel awestruck! “Oh! The new south pole is at Wisconsin”. “Oh! They just crashed into Mt. Everest”. “Oh! Hollywood just sank and took with it all the actors and studios and directors, producers, stuntmen, CG FX, etc. but I’m still able to watch a movie”.

 

Nice. I must say I enjoyed the experience. Somehow I couldn’t accept the fact that billions of humans were left to be taken by the Earth while the rich enjoyed Life. The end of the movie didn’t feel like a new beginning, it just felt like The End despite thousands of ‘costly’ lives being saved. The end of human dominance over the world. Is that good or bad? Judging by the current punishment we humans are giving to the Earth, maybe the end of human dominance would be a good thing. Obviously then I wouldn’t have enough freedom to write this post. Probably come 2012 I might be washed away by a NW heading wave as mercilessly as it would wash away my computer. So at least till then I hope to continue.

 

P.S: I didn’t understand why they released this in 2009. Probably they felt these 3 years will give us enough time to build our own ‘arks’ or to earn enough to buy a Ticket to Life.

Divided we Fall

When I was in school I used to read great things about India. We have so many states, so many religions, so many languages, so many cultures. I was amazed by all this knowledge and I truly believed what I read in the books. Soon, I found these books had a knack of showing only the shiny side of things. It was when I started reading the papers, that I began seeing reality.

India has so many states! And every state hates its neighboring states. There's always competition, there's always tension. Who is controlling the water. Who is controlling power. And now its a new trend to fight within states. Everybody wants that beautiful Chief Minister's title. What's the simplest way to get there? Definitely not struggle, work your way up, gain respect and earn the Chair. No. Start a new party (based on caste, language, region, religion etc.) and protest for a separate state. Excellent. I love rock music. I'll gather a big bunch of Rock fans and create a Hard Rock State of my own! Sounds wonderful doesn't it? I'll be Hard Rock CM. And for my political campaigns, Mark Tremonti will be shredding guitar. Oh! And my party symbol can easily be a guitar. \m/

India has so many religions! Once again I was brainwashed by the books. That all religions co-exist peacefully. I used to listen to all kinds of patriotic songs that praised the secular nature of India. And what do I see on TV. Communal riots, religious clashes, all kinds of nonsense. People openly criticizing other religions without even knowing that in the end all prayers are heard by One or heard by None! I strongly believe it's the latter!

When it comes to language, my brain goes into a tizzy. 1800 odd languages? (Its 1652, but I'm including the unknown ones too!) 1.2 Billion people. That's 666,666 people for every language (oops 666). Ok that was illogical! There are a few languages that are spoken like within a handful of people, so calculations and averages count for nothing. Obviously that would spring a new problem. It gets us back to the State separation. They were originally separated according to linguistic differences and probably that helped organise the country (which is still pretty highly disorganised) but ended up creating big barriers for the same reason of linguistic differences. So in theory, that gives us 1800 states! Can we live like that? Obviously, people move in and out of states and languages get jumbled. Sometimes it's work, sometimes family, sometimes something else. In the end we find people speaking multiple languages to converse and survive.

Is that bad? Then why all the mess that was splashed all over the news? The assembly hall becoming a wrestling arena because the oath-taker was speaking in the National Language and not regional? I got one word for it! Overly Frustrated Attention Seekers (oops that's 4 words). After centuries of coexistence, we still can't bear these minor differences that pop up. Why should only Marathis live in Maharashtra and why should they only speak in Marathi when there are 1799 other languages that belong to our country? Why should a Telangana state be created only for people living in that region? When the world is running away with technological advancements, ambitious, innovative, path-breaking, out-of-the-box ideas, we are still confining ourselves to within-the-box. And foolishly, we are making that box smaller. Things are supposed to grow over time, not shrink. Minds are supposed to get broader. Like people always rightly observe, there are only 2 things that grow in India. Economy and Population. Nothing else.

Already there was a huge debate over the so-called 'Pub Culture' and 'Mall Culture', as if they are some kinda cultures. Like people would prefer to buy 100 things in 100 shops than under a single roof called a Mall. How the heck could that be against Indian Culture? Did those ancient culture-creators, guess that 21st Century people will experience 'newer' cultures? Did they predict that people would try to save time buying all things at once, and that people would find hanging out in a public-house as a form of relaxation? Surely they wouldn't have been able to. And surely they wouldn't have written any rules that these were against 'our culture'. I feel like laughing thinking about this senseless thinking.

India is Democratic! Should have been the best thing about our country. But is it? Its letting people do what they want. Create state? Create. Create Language? Create. Protest new government? Protest. Demolish Mosque? Demolish. Start Riot? Start it. Own rules? So be it. Its as easy as creating a new variable and assigning your own value and properties to it for Programming. No one to stop you. No one to ask you. You do whatever it takes to feel comfortable and make your program work. Let the other variables get garbage values. Makes no difference to my variable.

So, we are diverse. Extremely diverse in all respects. And we have no respect for it. We were supposed to be proud of it, but we have been brainwashed. We were supposed to be together but we forgot. We need some reminding. We need more Tendulkars who proudly declare themselves as belonging to the country than a particular state or city or whatever (Never mind those handful of self-proclaimed 'protectors' of Culture). Natural Calamities, Terrorist Attacks, these are what bring people together. The few times when the barriers of religion, race, etc vanish (only to reappear once the calamity has passed). Can't even call them a 'Blessing in Disguise' with the unjust loss of so many lives. But only such radical stuff seems to be working for us. Or else, we continue to remain divided and we continue to fall apart.

The Run Fest

I'm definitely not a fan of Cricket. Being born in a country where Cricket is more of a religion than just a sport, I'm blatantly out of place, but when its a matter of country pride, I can't step back.

Yesterday was one of those days when I let my heart rule. I found myself sitting at among the highest seats of the Hyderabad International Cricket Stadium from where the view was like those 360 panoramas that we see of stadiums, watching the 5th ODI of the India Vs Australia Series. All this was thanks to Raj Kiran who kindly managed to arrange for the tickets.

While the 'inside' of the stadium was all fun, getting there was a mega-task. My friends parked their vehicles at my home because of the proximity to the stadium and their intention to avoid that huge traffic build up on the Tarnaka-Uppal road. We had to walk down the 1.5 KM distance to the stadium and find our seats. Sounded simple. But it wasn't. After walking all the way towards the Eastern side of it, we were told Gate 9 is on the other side. So we walked the half the perimeter around and only landed at Gate 7. When we asked again, we were told to go 'round a hill' to find 9. Round a Hill! I knew this place well because at the time the stadium wasn't yet so popular I used to learn to drive my car in these roads. And they weren't exactly what one would call roads. This was the back end of a colony in Habsiguda which ended at the foot of a rocky hill. Walking up and down these roads is more like a mini-trek. Cursing every stone and bush we came across and trying to think only of the fun we would have at the end of this long walk, we went 'trekking'. Finally, after doing nearly 3/4th perimeter (We could have done 1/4th and landed at the same point if we knew where to go!!!) we came around the hill and landed at Gate 9.

Once in, everything changed. We forgot all that we went through and get absorbed into the match. The Aussie batsmen were having a Run Fest down there and every ball seemed to be landing in the audience. The crowd was very participative and very patriotic but appreciative too. When Marsh completed his century, there was a good resounding applause for his effort. The runs just seemed to flow effortlessly. I was told this pitch is a very high scoring pitch and the rate at which the Aussie batsmen were scoring, it was getting obvious. Go down, buy a drink and 30-40 runs are added. The bowlers seemed incapable of taking wickets and we just watched silently occasionally clapping for this and that. Soon the scoreline read Aus: 350 runs. A decade back 350 was impossible to score. Now a lot more than that is possible.

We hunted for some food during the break. And I hunted for a camera which I obviously didn't have. The sunset behind the stadium looked awesome and I desperately wanted to click a snap. I had only my MotoRazr V3i in my hand with a 1.3MP camera with what I call 'beginner's' options. None of it helped me in any way so I just succumbed to the situation and clicked a few. I also managed a 3-photo Panorama with Natarajan's HTC touch (the image at the start). These were what I could click.








After the break, the Indian batsmen descended and now we realised the potential of the crowd. They were screaming themselves hoarse. Especially for Sachin Tendulkar. After scoring 7, he completed his career's 17,000 runs for which the fans erupted. It felt like the stadium shook during that 'eruption'. Little did they know that he had much much more in store for them. Sehwag's inital blast took the light away from Sachin but it came back after wickets just kept tumbling. In fact, the only one who was keeping his cool was Sachin. After Raina came things settled down a bit and the pressure eased. The 351 target suddenly seemed gettable. Very gettable. Sachin was just giving treat after treat with his flawless and super-cool, timed shots. He crossed 50. Fans went mad. He crossed 100, madder. He reached 150. The stadium was shaking now. If he went on at this pace, 200 was achievable. Where did he get all that energy from? No answer. He was so ultra-cool that sometimes if he was caught outside the line he never made an attempt to get back in a hurry. It was as if he knew the fielder wouldn't be able to hit the wickets. He ran patiently all through the game, saving energy with every step, walking where he could, jogging mostly, but avoiding to run.

Suddenly at 175 he fell. For a few seconds the crowd couldn't take it. We all expected him to play 'Start to Finish' and win the match for us. Nonetheless there was a long, tremendous applause as he slowly left the field advising the next batsman on the way. After Sachin left, hope started to ebb, and the wickets started falling faster than the runs scored. All the last wickets fell in just 15 runs and that closed the game with India just 4 runs short. The crowd just fell silent unable to accept what just happened.

The Jinx of Hyderabad still lives on. India hasn't been able to win at this new stadium ever since it replaced LB stadium. And the jinx moves to even club level with Deccan Chargers having a horrid time at this ground. I myself watched a game here that DC lost badly. I could hear funny comments about breaking down this stadium and building a new one! What beliefs! What Superstitions! I don't believe in all that, so I chose to remain silent just ruing about how badly the tailenders failed to make those 15 odd runs. But I did enjoy the match because there were so many good shots, so many sixes and fours, lots of entertainment. The game had everything in it except the home team winning.

Once out of the stadium, it was that long walk back home and this time thankfully, I knew the shortest route out with no confusion. These guys wanted to spend more time outside but it was getting too late and we decided to call it a day.

And with that, the long day-night ended. It was already the next day by the time I fell asleep...

Of Brain And Brawn

When Honda fell and became Brawn GP, I assumed, "Here's another team which will simply disappear into the back of the grid". And when I saw the colours, I was even more astonished. White and Florescent Green? I would never have chosen that combo for a Racing Car. The Team Drivers: Rubens Barrichello and Jenson Button. I just couldn't make head or tail of this bizzare story. Big drivers, new team, no sponsors, what was going on?

It felt funny to see a new team being born out of another team's ashes. I didn't know what to expect and I decided to let things unfold and I'll make my assumptions later. And off went the season.

Jenson Button snatched 6 out of the first 7 and that was when I realised never to underestimate any F1 team. And following closely behind was Red Bull Racing. Another team I never expected to be finishing so well. Where were the biggies? Mc-Laren Mercedes? Ferrari? Hamilton? Raikkonen? All of them were just side-swept by the Horsepower and Brainpower of Brawn. Though Button didn't manage to win later, his inital burst gave him enough to be Champion. His first, his team's first, every thing was a first. Brain better than Brawn? Maybe it's time to re-write that little sentence.

It was one heck of a season in the end, though my favourite Ferrari could manage to finish only 4th in the Constructor's. Force India did manage to win some hearts by grabbing a few points. And what preceded that? A sentence from a big guy, "F1 is not a sport!". Force India's tiny fistful of points ensured that the rest of F1 critics in India kept their mouths shut. After seeing what Massa went through, no one would dare to call F1 a not-so-physically-demanding sport. And with the hope that F1 comes to Delhi, it would be another boost for the sport in India where 99% of the One-point-something Billion don't believe in the existence of sports other than Cricket.

The new races were pretty fun to watch. Suddenly Asia seems to have become a hot spot for F1. The Singapore night-light race was awesome to watch. Wish I could get one chance to sit in that giant Merry-Go-Round and have a 360 view of the circuit! Abu Dhabi was breath-taking in all ways. Unique to the core. Built on a man-made island. Day-Night Grand Prix. Scariest Pit lane exit I ever saw. Scary to the viewer, nightmare for the driver. Awesome structures in and around the circuit. Ferrari Theme park!?! Someone pinch me!

Yeah, even when Button won the Championship, I was like, "Someone pinch me". This whole season was quite a blast for me. I did miss a few races either due to the stupid cable connection or my own ignorance. But in the end, whatever I saw, I enjoyed.

Next year seems to be more promising. BMW may be out, but others are coming in. And Korea is hosting. And come 2011, the Indian GP is getting ready. Things have only just started to change in F1, may the change continue.

Loss of a Brother

This is definitely one of the most painful posts I'm going to write on this blog. The reason? My cousin, Amarnath died suddenly at the age of 21 at a time when things looked ripe for him.

He was a Radio Jockey at Radio Mirchi Vizag before which he worked with SFM. Both his shows were local and never reached Hyderabad but every time I went there, I could sense the amount of excitement people had, to listen to his shows. They were a clear hit and he garnered praises within no time. Within 2 years he attained what could be called as a Mini-Celebrity status. Maybe not everyone knew his face, but everyone knew his voice.

But he wasn't just about 'RJ-ing'. He was something more than that. Right from his childhood, he was naturally attached to music. It came to his head and it flowed through his hands. During the years that he spent at Kirandul/Bacheli, I came to know of his great musical talents. He completed professional courses in Tabla and used to mostly spend his time with the Keyboard. At his age (same as mine), he was just genius. The timing, the sense of rhythm and tune, etc. were way to good for me to fathom. The way he used the 'Fingering' option with his left hand to add bass/rhythm to his right hand lead was just too awesome to put in words. His dad (another music junkie), set up an array of speakers creating a surround effect in the small Railway Quarter room in Bacheli. I used to love to go there just for the music and all that equipment. By then, he could play Keyboard, Tabla, Mandolin, Mouth Organ, and knew the basics of guitar. He was the perfect blend of Western with Indian Classical. One could say he was one of my first inspirations despite being a few months younger to me.

A few years later, I managed to catch some of the finer points of music and went to him loaded with a bunch of chords and theories. I first learnt the chords on Keyboard and then translated them onto a guitar for better understanding. And when I met him again, I noticed he was playing quite some exquisite chords. The same old technique, playing a melodious hit 'Bollywood/Tollywood' song's lead vocal tune with the right hand and backing it with rhythm/bass fingering and chords. And occasionally he would change the beat style with a nice fill-in and change the instrument too between verses. The overall effect it brought out was just the most soothing feeling on Earth. This time I could understand what he was doing with the buttons and pedals, but the other 'laymen' in the room were just stunned by his musical genius.

I asked him where he learnt all those chords. Because apparently he didn't seem to be learning from any book or teacher. He simply replied this,

"I hear the song and I play it."

"But what about those Chords that you're playing with your left hand? Where did you learn them?"

"I just play certain keys together because they sound good and in key".

"Did you know you were playing the famous Am-G-F sequence there?"

"Oh! It's called A minor? I didn't know that"

The last jam session I had with him. We had quite some fun that day..

That was him and his Musical Genius. Within no time he also got good with the guitar chords and started showing me some interesting strumming patterns that he 'discovered'. Every stage, he just blew away people. All his life, he just did that with no effort.

Even his Radio Jockeying skills were no less. His unique mix of clean-Hindi with the Filmy Telugu was an instant hit in Vizag where Hindi is almost non-existent. The people accepted him graciously and showered him with unending praise. Suddenly the name RJ Amar was larger than life, a resurrection of FM Radio, which was pretty boring until private companies started taking over. His fan clubs on Social Networking sites went gaga over him and he achieved in a short span of time, what many couldn't. He came like a flash of lightning and left the same way.

Where ever he was, there was laughter and fun. Just naturally humourous, he could make anyone laugh at any time. Playing with words was like a sport for him. Again his unique mix brought out the most unexpectedly funny humour.

He came, he made us laugh, he conquered everyone's hearts and he left.

A-mar itself means immortal. Maybe not physically, but his legacy definitely is. The few memories that I have of him will live on forever. May his 'Immortal' soul Rest in Peace.

Diwali 2009

16th to 18th October this year. One of the most awaited festivals of India. The brightest, and noisiest festival, the 'Festival of Lights', Diwali.

Twisted Tales from the past go so many thousands of years back that no body can confirm the truth anymore as to why this festival is celebrated. Is it because Rama returned to Ayodhya? Or because Lord Krishna killed Narakasura? Or because Jainism and Sikhism have special significance on this day? Who knows? Lets just settle with 'victory of good over evil' for now. But one thing's for sure, the whole of India goes berserk during this festival.

Other than the whitewashing of houses, distribution of sweets, lighting of lamps, performing poojas, etc., the most awaited 'spectacle' of day involves fireworks.

The nights are no longer dark nights. They are filled with lights and sounds creating breath-taking views across entire regions. Having celebrated this festival with much enthusiasm all through my life, I should have been bored with the regularities. But somehow the energy in the air is so addictive that it pulls you in like a magnet.

This year I was left 'handicapped' without a camera at my disposal. Over the last few years, I found great solace in capturing interesting photographs of fireworks in action, rather than contributing to the noise and air pollution. And the lack of a camera this year really sky-rocketed my frustration/anger levels. While the pollution levels around rose to crazy numbers, my brain was having an internal civil war with my body. Should I go out and have fun? Should I really? What could be a possible reason to celebrate? I had none. On the contrary, I had every reason to stay silent and subdued.

I happily chose not to involve myself in any buying, but did end up at the fireworks shop to satisfy the rest of my family. After all, why should they suffer for my weirdo behaviour? I also ended up holding a few sparklers and lighting a few fireworks to reflect the happiness on the others' faces. Like magic I was transformed. I became part of the celebration in no time. The happiness was infectious. Go ahead, have some fun. It's something you need desperately.

Letting myself loose was probably one of the best things I did this month and the satisfaction is something I hope would linger. But obviously it won't and it can't.

Diwali is about 'lighting your inner self'. Have I achieved that? Probably. Probably not. I can't make out the difference anymore. Am I happy? Am I sad? Or am I suspended somewhere in between? I can't answer that too. Which way is up? Which way is down? I can't tell.

Diwali has ended. Other than leaving behind lots of pollution, what has changed? Nothing. No 'inner light'. No light at all!

Maybe I must let things move on a little. Let things ease up a little. Probably I'll be able to pinpoint my location then and move the right direction.

Discover a problem, find a possible solution and wait.

I wait.

Still waiting... still knocking at Heaven's Door.

Whom are we fighting anyway?

I'm tired of the news. I should have been, a long time back, but somehow I held on. Now I can safely declare, I'm sick and tired. I always dream of being disconnected, cut off from the whole world. Every time I switch the TV on, "XYZ people killed in explosion", "ABC killed due to floods", "QRS killed in earthquake". And we just sit here and watch. What can a person sitting in the luxury of his living room do when thousands of miles away, another person has decided to blow up a building? Or when a sea or river decided to chat with villages? Can we do anything? Can the people present in that place do anything?

It does seem very unfair. Why should those people who never did anything wrong suffer? Sounds like a one-sided game. Unfortunately, it's no game. When forces decide to act, humans are but mere puppets. Whether the forces are of Nature or simply evil minds, it doesn't matter. But there's always a balancing act. We always played an active part in destroying Nature and it does fight back when there's too much to handle. And the wrong-doing humans do get their fair share of punishment. Maybe not before they successfully killed innocent humans, but somehow someday, they'll face it.

But why do we want balancing? Why should one happy event trigger a balancing tragic event? Sometimes I wish I were, what we call: God. I wish I had the power to detect and stop anything from going wrong. Like change the mind of the demented terrorist who's just hatching some maniacal plans. Or stop floods with my hands. Or stop volcanoes by plugging them. Or cure Lisa Ray from her Cancer...

Wish I could have the power to filter things, control things. Just with thoughts. But soon, I'll find out that there are just too many things going wrong everywhere. My mind would have a spate of thoughts running through. Probably driving me insane. Crazy. I would lose control, and grieve why I ever had such a power. I would suddenly wish I never had that power. I would have lived such a normal, human life without all that running through my head.

Thankfully, I don't have that power. I want to live that normal, human life. But the news never lets me. Everyday I open the paper and close my eyes, trying to spare a thought to all those who couldn't see the sun rise today. Once again, my head is over-loaded, bringing back the insanity that I tried to avoid.

Can't we do anything? Come out as a united Human-Force and make life simpler? We probably can't 'cause we don't even know who or what we are fighting. We are blinded and unarmed.

We have ceased living.

We just exist.

Jinxed Again!

Now this is getting pretty frustrating here. I'm no fan of 'cricket', but I did take a strong liking to the Twenty20 Format of the game and I've always been supporting the Deccan Chargers of Hyderabad for obvious reasons.

What's more? The stadium is at a walkable distance from my house! Though I haven't had any great interest to go there and watch, I've keenly followed the DC matches on television. Its hardly difficult to notice the pattern emerging with the DC team after watching 3 tournaments played.

The IPL-I turned out to be a choker for DC. The best team on paper, the worst team on the field. And they confirmed it by finishing last. They lost matches on their home ground, in front of their home crowd. Wow, so much for being a DC fan!

IPL-II lands in South Africa due to security reasons and DC makes Magic look as simple as parlour tricks! The rest of the teams were left groping in the darkness blindly after encountering the Gilly Storm. DC won it though there was an equal competition from RCB (2nd from bottom last year. How ironical!!)

Champions League T20! Come on!! IPL sounds so strangely familiar to EPL, that I was taken aback, quite literally. I didn't know sports copy sports even if it has to do with just naming. And now comes Champions League, just like the world famous UEFA Champions League. And the organisers admit having used a similar concept. Similar? Call it a mirror image! Big teams from India, big teams from around the world, all under one roof. "Hell of a competition", I thought. DC starts off with a loss. The venue? Hyderabad. Could they break the jinx at least in the next game? The final chance to stay alive? Conveniently, NO is the answer. The jinx stays alive, kicking DC out of the competition. The only Indian side to be knocked out. So much for being last seasons Champions huh? Great!

Yet, I would obviously continue to support DC. Winners or losers, home is home. DC is home. I used to wonder, how teams in the lower divisions of the EPL could manage huge crowds of fans when teams like ManU, Chelsea, Real, etc were grabbing fans from all over the world. Now I understand. It's not about supporting the best team. It's Home that matters. No matter how bad or how good, you'd stick to and protect your Home. And your Home will stick to and protect you. Pun or no pun, that's the truth.

A Matter of Honour

It was a pretty long time I last read a Jeffrey Archer novel. My last one was False Impression which impressed me like hell. The story-line, the pace and the way the whole thing went about, was just too good and I found it much better that the other novels, Prodigal Daughter, Sons of Fortune, etc that I read. But after False Impression, I suddenly forgot I knew how to read. I read almost nothing and to force the habit back in, I re-read what I already finished...

Once I brought the habit back in, I was flying. I did the Twilight series in a matter of days which I still repent because I had no other books to read. Thankfully, Dan Brown's latest, Lost Symbol came out and I finished it in a mad rush too. It was a good book, but somehow couldn't compare to the other Robert Langdon stories. I also found Deception Point to be better than Lost Symbol. So in the end, Lost Symbol came only 4th out of the 5.

After that it was another brief dull span when my sister suddenly borrowed Jeff Archer's, A Matter of Honour from her friend. I read the description on the back cover, and instantly flew at the book. I knew this would be thrilling to read. Scott the main character opens a letter that was passed on by his father, who in turn received it from his father. After translating the letter, which involves (SPOILER WARNING) a Russian Icon inside which a treaty is hidden that was proof to the buying of the 49th state of USA (Alaska) from Russia, a sudden chain of events completely change Scott's life. It starts with his new found love being killed and the story leaps from there. Suddenly he's escaping multiple groups from different countries. He doesn't know whom to trust and whom not to, and it comes to point where he even gets suspicious about his best friend. The escaping, chasing, brutality, and some soft moments with people who help him in his cause (right from musicians to teenagers to prostitutes), really set the kind of delicate balance needed in the whole story. In the end it was a great read and probably the best I read this year.

Funnily enough, this is one of his early books and it turned out to be my latest read. To make it even weirder, I didn't read 'Not a Penny More, Not a Penny Less' yet which is his first! But of course, I will not procrastinate anymore. I'll soon be having that novel under my finished books list.

As of now, I'm letting my time fly with 'The False Impression'. Again. And I'm truly enjoying it. Again!

Head First into Water Again!

Its only been 3 days now, but I'm just overly obsessed with swimming. All day I just keep thinking about how to improve myself, comparing my yesterday's attempts with today's, looking out for some tips on the internet, watching video-lessons, and lots of stuff like that. Lets just say, I'm in a strange hurry to learn it, though I know very well that I have lots of time with me.

Today was particularly interesting. We were made to dive in from the edge to give ourselves a bit of thrust and we were to continue the momentum in a freestyle. While Chaky and me did make some progress, Raj tired himself out in the beginning and couldn't hold on to his strength for long. My breathing is still way out of sync with my mind/body and only by being able to control it, I would improve. I also noticed that I was practically scared to open my eyes in water, and probably should solve that with goggles. I have the feeling, my attempts will be more fruitful if I can see what I'm doing and where I'm heading. Sometimes, I ridiculously crash into another learner, causing panic in both.

End of another short post. Hopefully, I'll be back soon.

Head First into Water

Right from as far as my memory could go, my bony structure always faced crazy criticisms and advices to improve. I tried my hand at the gym but didn't like the atmosphere there and decided to quit inspite of many attempts to not giving up. Funnily, despite leaving my body without exercise and spending all day 'on the couch' watching TV or on the computer desk, I never managed to build up any kind of fat. Infact I hardly changed in about 4 years which is weird for a 21 year old. Though that's an okay in some ways, the lack of exercise simply made me so lethargic that I realised I was crossing my own tolerable limits of laziness.

Suddenly Chakradhar's brain performed its odd-time genius thinking and he suggested swimming. I felt like that was the thing missing in my life right now, like I was forgetting something and he mentioned it now. We flew into action and within a few days, we managed to get ourselves into a morning batch of learners.

Today was my first day and it was good fun. The coach just asked us to paddle holding the rods attached the the walls. After about 30 min of paddle-break-paddle-break pattern, we moved out. It was fun, and I think the biggest secret to learning to swim is to get rid of the fear and relaxing the body-tension. Infact Chakradhar (who once had an incident when he nearly drowned twice on the same day) suddenly attempted to swim a few meters and actually did it. It was a tad messy, but he did it on the first day itself. That was commendable stuff I thought.

One issue though is, we took this up at a time when the weather is starting to get cold. And the timing is early in the morning at 6. Hope we don't fall sick just because of our determination to move our bodies out of the bed. We did have some shivering in the first few minutes, unable to accept the cold. In a way, I thought it was a good thing we were going early in the morning. Once the sun rises, the water on the body evapourates more quickly, leading to more shivering and the temp difference inside and outside could be higher.

Anyway, that should be the end for now. If i do make any noticeable progress, I'll post again.

One Down, How Many More To Go?

Finally, the countdown has officially started. It’s already become ancient, the fact that most of the students who complete college in India, move out because of the so-called ‘lack of quality education’. Like most of my friends have decided to study abroad, I’ve joined the same pack of wolves.

 

Some of my class-mates have already left and more are on the way, but the one that concerned me most was Yaseen’s. We expected to Sudershan to leave this August, but apparently, some glitches held him back and now suddenly he has a job that he loves to do. The next one in the line was Yaseen who was planning to land in Manchester for higher education. He successfully completed the process and finally decided to leave on the 24^th which was a Thursday. I wanted to meet him a last time for the send-off and made up my mind to make it to the airport on Thursday. Raj and Chakradhar were also willing to come and so the plan was to start off from my home in my car.

 

It was the first time I was going to the airport after it was relocated at Shamshabad. And to top it off, it was the first time I was driving to such a far off place. Quite a few ‘firsts’ happened on that day. He wanted us to be there by 7:15AM so we took off by 6:00 at my house, not expecting what kind of roads and traffic we could probably experience. It was a pleasant drive, mostly hovering around the speed of a comfortable 70Kmph. The roads were fine thanks to the early morning drive. And though the boards put up by the Government in Habsiguda say 30KM to the airport, it was a good 40KM by the time we reached there. And it did take a full hour to travel. It was 7:00 AM when we entered and just waited till he came. He stepped in nearly at 8:00 and it felt foolish to have waited a whole hour just for nothing. Anyway, after he came, it was time for some quick traditional Muslim style goodbyes and he was off through the doors. Finally it set in. One down, but how many more to go?

 

With that thought hovering in our heads, we made our way to the small McDonald’s outlet at the airport for a quick bite. And soon, we were heading back. The one peculiar thing I noticed was the quality of construction work inside and just outside the airport. After exiting NH7 and entering under the welcome arch, I noticed a sudden change in the way the wheels were rolling. It suddenly got very smooth. I had no hesitation in pushing beyond 100 Kmph cuz I was sure the road ahead was definitely obstacle free. And I felt the same on the way back. After doing a smooth 4 KM of the exit, I reached the trumpet interchange that merged into NH7 and bam! Bad quality! The small elevated way that joined the exit of the airport road to the Highway was in stark contrast to the road we just left. It was so blatantly clear that I couldn’t believe it. The ride became bumpy and there was too much noise from the wheels. And the worst fear of all is that the new elevated expressway that’s opening shortly might as well turn out to be as bumpy as this. And if it does, its going to be a 11+ KM noisy, bumpy ride. Lets just hope that won’t be the case.

 

After getting home, these guys were in a mood for more. They wanted to watch a movie now. And off we went again. This time, into the city. GVK One. I expected a few more stalls to open up but didn’t find much of a change compared to last time. We had to waste 2 hours before getting into the movie and this we used up by roaming around and filling up with KFC. The movie was Wanted with Salman Khan as the star. I never imagined in my life that I would end up watching a Salman Khan movie in theatre. I lived through the hours yawning and sighing, hoping that people would stop whistling and shouting every time he delivered punch line. Clearly, the audience was in love. After all the endurance, I was happy to be out into the brightness and reality.

 

Once home, I realised how tired I was. Waking up at 5:30 AM was something I didn’t do in almost an year. Adding more than 100KM of driving to that had disastrous potential. I succumbed to it and fell asleep.

 

Desert Roads

Sunday is supposed to be the most relaxing and comforting day of the week. Or maybe I thought so, because this Sunday was entirely different. It was filled with a strange sequence of uplifting highs and madly frustrating lows.

 

Like a deceiving monster, it started off on a good note. I met up with friends I didn’t meet for a long time. For the first time in almost 2 years, my whole group of six friends from college could meet at once. Every other time, someone or the other ended up missing the get-together. This meet was special. Yaseen was ready to leave for Manchester in a few days and we wanted to see him one last time. And thankfully, everyone showed up (at least for sometime). We all met at AlleyGator and chilled out for a few hours. It was fun. Fun after so many days of boredom and lonely days at home. After Yaseen’s plan was settled, it was Sudershan’s turn to stun us. He managed to get himself a job that dealt with the high-end Dell XPS system. Apparently, he was absolutely loving his job and seemed very excited about narrating it to us. All in all, the afternoon went well. We were satisfied that the 6 friends who stuck together for 4 years had a last chance to meet up and chill.

 

Time flew by very fast and though I was supposed to be home by 3:00 PM, I only got home at 4. There was a party to attend. A birthday party of a 60 year old man who recently became a relative. We were supposed to pick up a cake (not exactly on the way!) and then reach the party. I got the car out and was nearly ready to move out of the gate when my watchman shouted for me to stop. He noticed that the right-rear tyre was completely flat. I was shocked. I leaped out and placed my hand near the nozzle. Cold air was still gushing out. The puncture happened just seconds ago. I couldn’t believe my bad/good luck.

 

Bad because my family had nearly 50KM of travel today and the tyre went flat leaving us stranded and car-less! ‘Good’ because the tyre flattened before I even left the house gate. If this same thing happened somewhere in between a flyover, I would have been ready to jump off the flyover out of frustration.

 

I hastily parked the car back and ran to get an auto. Ah! Here starts the trouble. The famous Hyderabad autos! Well known for their rash driving, ignorance of the law and tampered meters that run at double speed, this one was no different. This auto was fully-loaded with the above mentioned features and when we told the driver of our plan, he must have thanked the heavens for hitting Jackpot. We were supposed to go to Thirumulgherry to collect a cake and then to Banjara Hills for the party. My mood was so off that inspite of spotting a huge number of exotic cars on the road, my spirits couldn’t lift. My sullen face said it all. We had to fork out about Rs. 250 (I can easily do 2 complete trips to the airport and back with 250) for the whole travel and we knew we would have to pay much much more than that while returning because it would be late in the night.

 

The party was okay and kinda improved my mood. There were a few fun games for the married couples and I had to time them. Sounds like fun right? Yeah I know…. Sigh…

 

The dinner was good (again!) though I couldn’t force myself to eat much. It was way too late to find autos on the road and that kept me on the verge of leaving ASAP. Finally when it was past 11, we stepped out and the scene was just as I expected.

 

Deserted Roads!

 

Not exactly what one would call ‘deserted’ though. They were deserted for stranded people but they were heaven for people with adrenaline rushes and an exotic car at disposal. Only an occasional vehicle would zip by at blinding speed and we were even scared to cross the road. What else could one expect at KBR Park road? It was a hub for street-style racing before the Outer Ring Road came and it still bore signs of those high-speed days. Not a soul was present anywhere. And the only moving objects visible were Porsche Cayennes, Audi Q7s etc. In a dramatic movie-style, one couldn’t even ask for a lift. Probably the Cayenne owner would zoom past so fast that he would never know of people walking down the pavement hoping to find a means of transport. Finally when we reached an intersection of sorts, we found an auto. And this one turned out to be meter-less! The driver though was a nice guy and agreed to ‘transport’ us. We were literally ready to pay anything for that! In the end I thought we kinda underpaid him because, he practically pulled us out of a desert and he was a Muslim who was supposed to be preparing for the big day, Eid the next day. He deserved a lot more than a mere 150 bucks. But I was too tired to think any more about this and quickly retired to bed reflecting on the fluctuating day.

 

Met with friends, a high. Tyre punctured, a low. Fun at the party, a high. Stranded in Banjara Hills at midnight, a nightmare!.

 

Dreamless Sleep, the Ultimate High!!

Wake me up When September Ends

September has just started. Just like the past 4 months that have gone down the drain with no time well spent, this month would pass on too, worthlessly. Suddenly I am wishing for all this to end. At least this month to end. By then, hopefully, I would get some confirmation on my application status in Universities. Till then I'll have to just lie in the dark, waiting for my time to come.

As of now, there's too much negativity in the air. With YSR's sudden, tragic death, the pessimism only just increased. People around me sound hopeless and helpless. Only with loss can a person truly realize what he can lose.

My losses (losing moderately expensive electronic gadgets) have been nothing compared to what the Andhra Pradesh state lost, but loss is loss. I've kinda attempted to cover up (buying a 22inch 1080p monitor) and hopefully by next week, my life would be back to normal when I get my mediocre Graphic Card back. Currently Google Earth works like it's affected by Swine Flu and suddenly Microsoft's Bing Maps is holding my attention for some time (it's a desperate ploy to waste time in a world that is suddenly filled with excess time - shocking i know!!). At least Bing Maps has better resolution, better clarity and newer imagery compared to GE. However, the lack of a standalone application really bugs me, especially when I have such a slow connection. Google hasn't updated the imagery near the Hyderabad International Airport even as of today. I had to cut a piece of the Bing Maps imagery of the Shamshabad Airport and do an Image-Overlay on GE to deceive myself that the newer imagery is there. Here's the image I ripped.



It does look good from the Satellite. And surely even better from the inside. But about how fast it would grow in the near future is still a doubt. In fact, how fast any development project in Hyderabad - and AP in general - would take shape is the biggest question. With a new CM who should handle the state for the next 4 years, life's gonna be tough for both government and people. It's like everything is back to square one. A fresh and dedicated start is needed, which I kinda doubt as of now. Either we choose experience and same-old-politics or youth and brand-new-start-politics. Somehow, there's a growing suspicion that there's no difference between the two. It could be the same old story. It's another reason I just wanna fast-forward this month to the end and see how the first month of a new administration turns out to be.

It's a wait-and-watch game here and I'll wake up when September ends.

Ironical India

What a phrase to utter! One side we have open-minded geniuses who stop at nothing to achieve what they wanted to achieve. In the same country we have these narrow-minded weirdos who cannot say if the chauffeur driven super-luxury cars they own are German made or Italian but try to talk down what humans experience in a Formula One car!

The other day I came across this article where some guy claimed 'Formula One is not a sport' and that these races are not a test of the human strength! Damn that guy! We are talking about 300+ speeds and accelarating/decelarating forces of close to 5G! Call a 'highly athletic' runner and ask him to endure an hour of gruelling Formula One racing. In 10 laps he would start puking and would start complaining of all kinds of pains in his neck, back, etc. Drivers sit and race, but the sitting itself gets so tough when you realise you'll come out a few Kilograms lesser than when you started the race! One thing we must learn is not to compare 2 things that are so blatantly different. One more thing is, one must not blabber crap when half the world is all ears.

Humans have always been known to transcend barriers. All these achievements have been possible because of an urge and determination to do it. If we keep aside things just because they are too expensive or they might end up being a form of entertainment rather than sport, then we would still be creating fires out of striking stones and riding bullock carts. Imagine Twenty-20 cricket without its pace and 'entertainment'. Would it have succeeded? Sport is Competition, Competition is Speed (in racing, that is), Speed is Entertainment and Entertainment is Money. It will pull audience whether you like it or not.

For that reason, Formula One is watched all around the world (one of the few 'sports' that actually achieved this) and with much enthusiasm. India with a huge population definitely adds huge numbers in the viewership of F1. And with such huge numbers of fans I am sure a race in India would pull enough crowd even if the ticket to watch it costs a hell lot of money.

But what do I hear around me? Frauds. Scams. False allegations. Crap. Suddenly F1 is being made to look like a villain in front of these so-called 'human-athletic' sports. When were 'athletics' given real importance in India anyway? A country of 1,000,000,000 won it's only first Individual Gold Medal for Shooting in 2008. Where were athletes and athletics then? If our authorities are really supporting and funding those 'real sports' so well, its rather shameful because we don't have an ounce of proof of that. The tiniest countries with entire populations less than a single Indian city have won enough praises in the form of medals. And here we are, talking about 'real sports', like we know about damn thing about 'real sports'.

The recent comments made about F1 really brought my blood to boiling point. Something in me personally wanted to hit back at such wild statements. I atleast hope someone from the F1 world would hit back. As if on cue, the F1 world did hit back. And hit it did, so hard that I feel pretty satisfied right now.

Giancarlo Fisichella's Pole postion on Saturday and his Second Place earning the first ever points for Force India clearly was the moment of the week for me, keeping aside Manchester United's win over Arsenal from 0-1 down. Like the rest of the season, everything about this race was unpredictable. Though Fisi couldn't really hold on to the first place, he held on to the second. With a Red Bull car that showed so much potential this season, it should have definitely been very hard for Fisichella to maintain the gap. Moreover he finished just 0.9 seconds out which isn't bad considering the KERS factor. However, the worst thing about this is I never watched the race, thanks to my sad cable.

But I did notice something strange aftermath of the race. Indian news channels went berserk with this news. Agreed the team is owned by an Indian and stuff, but what's the need for all that frenzy? People jumping about like it all happened because of the Indian element. The only 'Indian' thing I found was the name because the team is owned by an Indian. I feel deja vu with what happened after Slumdog Millionare. (People criticizing the way slums were shown and other people feeling proud like Rahman won all the oscars that day!) Anyway, this is a non-issue for me. I was delighted to see Mallya's team driver come second and Ferrari take the first place. That was all that mattered. On the other hand, I'm pretty excited to see Fisi race for Ferrari, though that would mean Force India might have really had a one-off podium finish.

So one side we have people in India stamping F1 down, cutting it off as a bud, before it even kicked off here, and the other side we have people stretching it beyond breaking point just because of the Indian connection. Both extremes are extremely ironical considering the fan following in India which is oddly concentrated. (Certain people consider it their religion, and yet most don't know such a 'Sport' exists) But stories like these are too common to even talk about so I'd better put a stop here. Such debates can go on for ever without a proper solution, and by then the expensive racing phenomenon might even get extinguished... though I hope not.

Shock of the Lightning

Contd. from prev post again...

Ah! What a great last week. I had a good break in Vizag for the first time in like 3-4 months. Still craving for more, I reluctantly came back home (26th Aug). But once inside home, I truly realised what all I missed for a week. I wanted to catch up on everything. My friends. My e-mails. My social networking accounts. My BLOG. The EPL matches. The Formula One updates. Everything. I was bluntly cut off from all this and I had a lot of catching up to do. All this lightened my mood and I felt good that I came home at last. And then, The Big Shock.

Time and again, certain things have gone horribly wrong when I was away from home. The reasons? Not something connected to my going out. Just a strange twist of fate!

This time, my joy of being back home lasted about 3 minutes. The moment I stepped in, I rushed to my system only to find out the display was in a weird dulled colour. I couldn't understand the problem. There was a dull reddish patch near the centre of the screen which puzzled me even more. When I asked my mom about this, the reply just left me like a person who lost all his life's belongings in a single go.

Apparently, just the previous day (25th Aug) there was a huge explosion about 4-5 Kilometers from my home and my house people say they heard it like it happened in the next street. They assumed that it was a Lightning Bolt that hit very close by. But the newspapers said there was an acid barrel that leaked and exploded. The moment the blast/lightning occurred, my system that was running got turned off and later refused to show anything on the screen. And at the same time, the set-top-box connected to the TV also weirdly stopped showing any display. Only audio was being heard. And weirdest of all, nothing else happened in any other neighbouring house.

All this left me dazed for sometime. So basically I go out for a week and come back to find that I have no computer or TV to spend time with. Though the monitor was displaying some colour, it was very hard to 'work' on the system for more than half and hour. The dull colours were too cold to handle. And to add salt to the injury, I found out that the LAN card stopped working. I made an attempt to dig in, searching for the hardware on the device manager and was shocked to find no ethernet card there. The whole network connection was just wiped out. Moreover, I found water leaking out of the internet cable. Ah! It was like the whole world tried to act against me. I was stuck in a situation where nothing would fall back into place on its own. I had to do it, I was the only one who could bring things back. I just kept my head to myself for the rest of day with the help of a novel and let the time pass by as quickly as it could.

And so it started the next day. I first got the lan card replaced and had a long wait before the internet guys reset my account so that it could be accessed. By the end of the day I had access to internet, which brought me some relief. We take so many things for granted, for example, being connected to the rest of the world. When that connection is suddenly lost, we are lost. After some thorough checking with another monitor and cable, I found that my graphic card was spoilt. This was sad news because getting this done would take days. And getting the set-top box repaired was another mystery I didn't wanna solve just as yet.

On Saturday I stepped out with the Monitor and CPU in the hope that nothing else turned out to be spoilt. When I got it checked, the graphic card was found faulty and by a strange twist of fate, it was 1 day past it's warranty period. Something like the card was expecting the 11 months to get over soon, and stole the first chance to get spoilt. And the monitor was found to be ok. But I wanted to get rid of the bulky CRT and go for the sleek LCD (something I should have done 2-3 years back). I was just waiting for the CRT to get spoilt so that I could buy an LCD but the CRT just refused to do so. It's been 5 years and the CRT worked properly except for a minor repair.

We gave away the fully functional CRT and took an LCD at last, a 19 inch. The moment I bought it, I repented the fact that I didn't take a larger screen. The 19 inch widescreen looked way too small even in front on the 17 inch CRT. Everyone at home is kinda upset that I made one hurried decision. But what's over is over... no point rueing bygone mistakes. The display card was taken away for repair and I would get it back only a week later. So I had to revert back to my on-board display card temporarily.

Finally it looked like most of my system problems were solved. The Graphic card is also on its way back in a few days. But the problematic thing was the set-top box. I just read that ManU defeated Arsenal 2-1, and Fisichella of FORCE INDIA took POLE!! I would have done anything to watch these on TV, but my sad cable never allows for that without a set-top box. I missed an important match and will now miss an exciting Belgian Grand Prix probably because of some stupid explosion miles away, days ago.

And with that, my week is coming to an end. Something to cry about, something else to cheer about. It's just the way good/bad things go in harmony. Look at the bright side of it and stay happy, stay sane...

A Week on the Coast

The Plan

This was a break I was desperately waiting for. I booked the train tickets to Vishakapatnam almost 20 days early. My cousin Deepa, my sister and I were the ones planning out the trip for a good break from the daily routine. Most of my previous visits to Vishakapatnam were mildly frustrating because it was just a few hours' visit and an intermediate resting place before going to the real destination, Jagdalpur. And unfortunately they were not always pleasure trips. But this time was different. It was a 4 day fun-promising trip and we were looking forward to it like nothing else in life. 21 August to 25 August was the plan and we already made up our minds about where to go on what day at the mercy of the Rain-Gods.

The Trip

We started our Vizag foray with a good lunch and finished the evening with a stroll around Tenneti park and a nice long drive on the beach road. I volunteered to drive and truly enjoyed the experience. The nearly empty and smooth roads adding to the scenic locations were fun to drive on. The saddest, sickest part was that I didn't have a camera with me. This was the first trip in 4-5 years that I went out without a camera, and I cursed myself for it and the stupid reason why I didn't have it. It was left with my Dad's Friend's Friend at a painting institute and it's not yet back home.

The next day being Ganesh's Festival, we were forced to stay indoors and perform all the pooja and eat all the 'delicacies' prepared. The whole day progressed slowly with a very late lunch and weird music from a nearby pandal. I expected devotional songs and ended up listening to hit tracks from the latest Magadheera that were repeated atleast 500 times in those 4 days (I know them by-heart now though I never watched the movie). On a weirder note, I also happened to catch songs from artists like Blue, BackStreet Boys, etc and the soundtrack from Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. Now why these tracks were played on a 'Devotional' occasion is an answer only the Men-of-God, the Priests of the pandal can give. Occasional rain sent our evening plans down the drain but the sight outside the balcony was breathless. A long line of the West-side hills were visible and the rain clouds slowly progressed their way past the tips. One could actually watch the rain advancing towards the city and the rain clouds would eventually cover up so thickly that the hills became temporarily invisible. I cursed myself for not having a camera so many times that it surpassed the number of times Magadheera songs were repeated.

Monday was the longest and the most fun-filled day of the trip. Early in the morning, we rushed to Rushikonda Beach in the hope that the sun wouldn't tan us black. Instead the weather was so pleasant, we stayed there till past 10:30. The swim in the misty beach and a small boat ride directly into waves was beyond thrilling. I grabbed another chance to curse my Camera-less pockets. After a moody breakfast (Moody because my cousin's phone ended up spoilt because of a single wave that crashed onto the boat), we went back home. I took over the wheel on the drive back and enjoyed the drive thoroughly. 80 KMPH and the cool, misty, wet wind slapping my face was the true pleasure I experienced. We went out in the evening again for dinner at RR Grand Bay and later managed to hit a local pub, Chrome (that was totally empty except us). While the rest made their way to the floor, I happily sat sipping a Vodka-based drink and watching Hitman on the flat screen (Who would dance to those weird BPM-altered Bollywood-Tollywood songs that were simply mixed on top of an unchanging non-stop rhythm??). When asked for Rock, the DJ played a song by Pink and I had to shut my ears out for sometime. The poor bartenders were also heavily engrossed in the movie, apparently bored that nobody was willing to have a second drink. My cousins wanted to go to another pub, but 2 others were closed and we returned back home past midnight.

25th was the day to leave. I wished to stay on but I reminded myself that the tickets were booked 20 days back and there was no point cancelling them now. We just went out for lunch and did some small shopping with me behind the wheel again. Driving in the peak hours of Vizag was like driving at around the most non-peak, traffic-free hour of Hyderabad.

There was but one problem on the Vizag Roads: The Pedestrians. The sleepiest, laziest and least-alert people I ever saw. Slam the horn 20 times and they turn around in surprise as if they just noticed a car behind them, and the expression on their face, "Just go your way, I'll go mine". 2 wheelers driving like maniacs is a usual sight even in Hyd, so nothing new there. No dividers anywhere and vehicles from the opposite lane coolly drop by on the oncoming lane scaring the wits out of motorists. I actually did 2-3 swerves on the road to keep the new Alto scratch/damage free.

The way back

Finally we got onto the train that would take us back home, and before we even started there was a minor incident. A man was beaten up badly, allegedly for stealing or something and also managed to crash his way into my cousin looking for an escape route. That left us shaken and we took some time to get out of that trauma, when we were left sleepless by another weird man. This guy who was having the lower berth, just didn't sleep or allow us to sleep. He was simply standing in the darkness between the 2 rows of berths and it looked like he was looking at us. It was scary beyond the scariest movies that I ever watched. He was unable to stand straight, was visibly sleepy but was simply refusing to sleep. His head was lolling around under the night-lamp and he was suddenly jerking back to life, shaking his head wildly. He kept massaging his stomach and I guessed this guy might be hungry. My blood began boiling now. He was beyond nuisance now and was getting on my nerves. Yet I managed to ask him politely what the problem was. He said he was hungry. At that exact moment we were stopped at the Vijayawada station. Even a 5 year old kid would have known that we "get food in a station". He didn't realise that silly fact till we actually mentioned it to him. He stepped down, bought some stuff and went into deep sleep never disturbing us again. It was past 2 AM and I was cursing him for ruining 3 hours of valuable sleep.

When I finally reached home I was pleased. Familiar Territory. My place. I had good fun for a whole week, and it was back to business as usual. It was back to being me. Couch Potato. Lazy-Bones. Whatever... Me.

PS: I was in for a shock that I least expected. Coming in the next post...

Outside the Singer's Studio / Birthday

Contd. from previous post...

And it came. We were standing under a bus shelter and the rain was now properly lashing. The breeze was too cold, but we just stood there. Suddenly Natarajan shouted, "Happy Birthday Johny". I actually almost forgot. I checked my watch, 00:01. "It's my birthday and I am on the road, standing in an unknown bus shelter, watching the rain." It all felt weird. An old man was curiously watching the commotion. I answered a couple of SMSes and now waited for the rain to ebb.

We got back into the car and I realised I left my bike parked somewhere on the other side of the road. There were small streams flowing where I parked and I found it difficult to get it out, but somehow managed to do it. In minutes, we reached home and my house people were surprised to find Natarajan standing at the door. They realised it was past Twelve and wished me. Soon we were on my computer try to match up the vocals and the music. The sampling rate proved to be a huge problem and we had to manually edit the BPM of every track that we loaded. It was nearing One and Natarajan left, and I finally went to sleep. I had only about 7 hours to sleep which was a good 2 hours less than my usual.

The calls started flowing in the morning and I patiently attended them all. Along with a few friends, I planned to go out somewhere and have fun. Natarajan suggested Alex's Kitchen as 'he was told', it was very good. We got there and found out it was a Chinese Restaurant. While I enjoyed the 'smoked' food, the others only pushed their plates away from them. Was a slight disappointment everyone didn't enjoy it and I also felt weird that I couldn't suggest a place myself, being so blatantly unaware of eating places in Hyderabad. Even Srikar who came here only a few years back knows more about the city than I do.

For dessert we had to move out. 'Move out' because it was closing time and we were the last ones to leave the restaurant! We went to Havmor for some Ice Cream and had a better time there. We had a few refreshing moments when Natarajan boldly ordered a 'Love Potion' and it ended up coming with 2 Straws for couples! He attempted drinking from one leaving the other free, but nothing happened. He then closed the mouth of one straw and drank from the other and the moment he let go, all the 'Love Potion' came flowing out onto him and the floor. He finally ended up uncomfortably drinking from both straws together. Oddly enough, our so-called Dessert cost us more than the complete lunch.

We were suddenly missing some of our other friends and made desperate attempts to call them. Sudershan responded and came over to meet us at Eat Street. Apparently everybody was full with dessert and there was no mood to eat and we sat ironically in Eat Street. Looking across the lake, I could see the other side of the city and wondered how a NYC-like skyline would look here. The moment the image came into my mind, it got crumpled after thinking about the Government that would need the vision to do it.



I was playing around with the exposure settings in Raj Kiran's PowerShot after I conveniently forgot mine at home inspite of charging the batteries for the occasion. After long and crazy discussions, we finally decided it was time to get back home. It started to get dark and the roads were mad. A flyover was closed for repair works and the road under it turned into a sea of vehicles. After 2 hours of struggling through various degrees of traffic, I managed to get home and retired for the day.

Tiring, but oddly fulfilling...

Inside The Singer's Studio

August 8th to 10th are 3 days I'll never forget in my life. For years, Music was always on the #1 spot in my er.. long list of hobbies. But converting a pastime hobby into something more serious was something I never thought of, nor attempted. The events that led to this:

8th August: a call came from Natarajan. I was required to compose the music for a song for the Independence Day. It was something regarding the young generation of India. At first I assumed it was a patriotic song, but soon the lyrics told me something else. It was a message to motivate young people to take charge of the country and to eliminate stuff like corruption, terrorism, etc. I pulled my rusting guitar out and connected it, and Karthik took over the Keyboard. We jammed around with a few chords, and came out with some simple tune. A Rock theme wouldn't harm the song as it was a message to young people. We started off with some drums and keyboards and soon, Natarajan joined in. The 3 heads together made some progress and we had a definite tune for the chorus. It was already past 11PM and we had to clear up. But Natarajan asked me to continue shaping the song at his office. So after some quick thinking and packing, I was off with all the instruments. We sat on his system and worked for a long time. Meanwhile his other employees were into other projects. 2-3 projects were being completed simultaneously and I fully realised how busy this guy has been ever since he started his company. Natarajan soon fell asleep probably due to over work and I continued to work on the song. The chords for the Verses were done, but with no definite tune. At 3AM the next day, I forced myself to sleep.

9th August: I woke up at around 8 and got back to the song. However I couldn't concentrate much and also realised that I left my amp and processor at home. So after a so-called 'Pizza' lunch (Veg hot-dog for breakfast), I went back home and carried the amp to the office. We resumed work and by evening, the song began to take shape. The verse tune was also done, but was almost on the same lines as the chorus. Nonetheless, we went forward with it and wrapped the day.

10th August: I was at home, finishing up the fill-ins and stuff and before I could complete them, I was asked to reach the studio for recording. We were only recording the vocals with the help of a backing track, and the rest was 'Software Magic'. After some confusion, I found the studio. Studio? It was a 2 roomed house in an apartment block. One room was converted into a recording studio. It was the most unexpected place to do such a thing yet, I was pretty impressed. I met the 'Singer' at the studio itself and went on with the process of explaining the tune and the timing. He caught on very very fast. A bit too fast actually. 10 seconds! Within those 10 secs he also managed to write up the whole tune into the 7 musical notes!! 'Shocking' is a huge understatement to what I felt. Natarajan was equally bewildered. We were both staring at each others blank faces while he conjured up the whole paragraph into notes along with improvisations.

He wasn't very good with Hindi, so I had to manually write the words down in English. Some time was lost in translation and a few technical glitches. But soon, all the equipment was alive. The 'Singer' suddenly announced he'll start recording. I wasn't so sure if he had all the words and tune in mind, but I just gave in looking at his confidence. He first started off with some humming so as to let the scale register properly, and Karthik was actually fighting off tears. The humming was so touching that we would have gladly passed it off as the final song without any lyrics at all. A long sequence of his hum was recorded so that we could use it for the fills. I suddenly didn't wanna use any of the available instruments. His voice surpassed everything.

Soon he started singing, and we were only left gaping by the speed at which he picked up the tunes. He also sang the lines a second time in Harmony with the original tune. He was basically giving us all he could so we could use it in any way we wanted. He ended a few lines in different styles to let us have a choice. And as time passed by, we were done. I really didn't want it to end. We had like 50-55 samples of his voice and thought it was a job well done. And by 11:15PM we were at dinner in Paradise. It was closing time and we had to rush up. It was there that I learnt what he really was.

He was not just a 'Singer', he was a Professional who worked with some big names in the Telugu film industry. His name was Krishna Chaitanya and he lent his voice for some big movies like 'Happy Days' etc. I was stunned to hear all this as he maintained quite a low profile all this time. It was beginning to near midnight (my birthday was getting closer) and he had no vehicle with him. We had to drop him at his house and I thought it was a good way to use up the last half hour. When we were nearing his house, it started raining. I was surprised. It didn't rain for 2 months, and suddenly at this odd hour, it began to rain. I really wanted to enjoy it for once. I let myself get wet a little too.

The great day of 10th August finally came to an end after we dropped the 'Singer' at his home. The rain just made everything look more 10 times beautiful. The empty roads, street lamps refracting light in the drops, a light breeze, everything was a sight to watch. Natarajan and I waited for the last seconds to tick away as my Birthday approached...

The Rogue Spring

I was busy watching the Qualfiying session of the recent Hungarian Grand Prix and suddenly I see Felipe Massa slamming into the wall. It didn't look serious to me until I saw the slow motion replays that showed a spring from Barrichello's car slamming into Massa's helmet. And the noise of the engine after that? Scary! The way he drove straight into the wall was plain terrible. When the stretchers and helicopter came, I knew the race was over before it even started for him. I continued to watch the replays recounting how much worse it could have been if those safety measures weren't in existence. Inspite of attempts to make the sport safe, Massa was badly injured. The news that came the next few days was quite disturbing, especially when they speculated that his career might be in jeopardy.

One week into the accident, 'The Rogue Spring' that started it all, springs in a huge surprise! Michael Schumacher replacing Massa! I couldn't believe my eyes, my ears, nothing.. Never did I dream of Schumi coming back after a freak incident like this. The most unpredictable thing just happened and I was confused whether to be delighted or depressed. While on one hand it meant Schumi would be back on the track (something that people would kill to watch after he retired), on the other hand it meant that Massa was still not in a position to race.



And at the same time, news of BMW's exit also started flying around. Over the last 2-3 years so much has changed in F1 that it gets a little difficult to accept more change. Things are just happening lighting fast. Massa injured, Schumi in, BMW going out, all within a week. What more are we expecting? Schumi winning in Valencia? Woo. That would be a treat to watch, won't it? Though I would call it a miracle if it happens. Surely even for a legendary racer it will be tough to come back so suddenly, especially after just recovering from a biking accident. Though it's true he's been hanging around the team all the time, the race track is something else. It's mad, and aggressive and real and merciless...

Yet, nobody is expecting Schumacher to pull of miracle come backs. Everybody just wants to watch him race, watch him doing his thing. At a time when F1's future is in doubt, he came in like a 11th Hour Samaritan. The viewership was steadily decreasing after Schumacher left. I myself missed almost 2 entire seasons though the problem was with the cable operator and nothing to do with my declining interest in Formula One. Yet I did notice a certain fall in general interest around me. And now, Schumi's comeback has been pretty well publicised. Most of the world that watches News on a daily basis would have known that he's racing again, even if it is only a few races. What more does F1 need now? They might as well win back most of the viewers and the coming European Grand Prix might end up getting maximum viewership.

Here I am eagerly waiting for the next race, not to expect Schumi perform miracles, but just to see him race again. It's all one would ask for as of now. The rest would be history...